Help: I have no friends.....

hi,

i understand what so many ppl here are talking about.

all through my life i've never had that special connection with friends. at school, college, university....everyone formed groups but i couldn't.

i have no trouble meeting ppl, i have so many aquitances, but they never go further.

i live in a small city in china, and theres maybe 100 - 200 foreighners here, and only one or 2 bars/cafe where most ppl hang out. i know lots off ppl but not cloesly.

its just i can't form a connection that easy, and if i do, after a few months they run away.

i definetly think too much, i can't relax when i'm with others unless i'm drunk...so many insecurities..but how can i stop that. how can i just be relaxed and let a friendship grow.

also many ppl (usually) girlfriends say when they first saw me they thought i was standoffish, i can't understand y. how do i appear less so.

i feel so alone,and i hate eating dinner in a cafe on my own, i always feel ppl are looking at me and thinking i'm a loner. how can i stop feeling like that. i always worry what others think.

it makes me so sad. i love life, and going out, but i want friends to do it with.

i'm now starting my second year here, and there'll be a new batch of foreighners (every year new students and teachers), so theres oppurtunities, and right now i feel like crying.

ameet

Hey AlmostBitter

( if this thread is still going!)

Friends are a lot of work!

I'm 26. I have a few friends, the rest are acquaintances etc.
Friends definetly come and go in cycles.

There was lots of good stuff here. I was interested too, 'cause sometimes I have trouble meeting new people. I can be an abrasive broad and that can sometimes be a problem.

The most important thing is to be yourself. A cliche, but true.
Don't waste time on people that don't appreciate you for who you are.
Make time for the ones you want to get closer to.
Ya gotta put yourself on the line - that's all there is to it.

Try something you would never normally do. By reaching out into unknown territory, you'll get the opportunity to meet people you wouldn't even think could become a good friend.

cheers, brother