Sun 24 Sep, 2017 07:11 pm
I have been looking online for my symptoms, and it is very clear that I exhibit OCD, my mind is always active, and as long as I am active, I am not troubled by any thoughts. Of late I noticed something, if I do not explicitly follow something in a certain way, i.e, if I attempt to do things my way, and my body wants things in a different way, I experience excruciating pain, tolerable, but severely interferes with my consciousness, my flow if you may. I am aware of what is happening, but the pain takes away the joy, the emotion, the feeling that I am experiencing at that moment. This pain could be anywhere, in my stomach (abdomen), my chest (most recent), tightness around the temples, sides of the head, and lump under the throat. I am fully aware, but its like my body feels different.
Let me illustrate this with an example. Just now, a little while ago, I was sitting down and making life plans, unstressed, completely in control, several intrusive thoughts, but none causing anxiety, everything under control. Perfect. I play this game, FIFA, get to the "Play" section, my fingers move the joystick left right over the options because I am unsure as to which player to play, and after some joy moving left right I remember this book I wanted to read, open my computer Monitor, switch to the page which has the book, download the book, and as I reach to the XBox's power button to turn it off, I miss the first time, all in flow up to this point, and I instantly hit the power button again, turning it off, this is when the pain hits, and I know why, I had to do it another time, but despite that, the pain, and I am completely disconnected, unable to connect to the "flow", everything that was happening at the moment, everything that led to it, the flow, the pain was too much, and I simply couldn't progress. Tried turning it ON and OFF in a manner which felt comfortable, to no avail. Lay down to sleep, thoughts couldn't go in a direction I wanted, plus began to have self esteem issues, woke up, registered, wrote this.
Is it normal for OCD to experience pain like I described?
OCD can involve physical pain, either from stress or psychosomatic in origin. You should see your doctor.