Suddenly Being "Nobody" To Your Ex? (after breakup)

Why? Are there children involved?

No kids...thankfully, but we live in a fairly close knit community. I just want to make peace with her and I am trying to see this whole equation from the other side.

LionTamerX- I think that you are trying to push a rock uphill. One of the things about divorce, is that the one who initiated it, rejected the other person. Most people have difficulties with rejection, especially the sort of person that you have described.



Why in the world would you want to put any emotional energy into making "peace" with this person? I think that you are fortunate that you had the strength of will to wrest yourself from this out of control, immature
individual. Please do not allow yourself to become mired in guilt. You don't deserve that.

In some divorces, you have two basically decent people, who just were not meant for each other. In a case like that, the person who initiated the divorce might very well want to "make peace". In the situation that you have described, on your posts, the most productive thing would be for you to create as much time and distance from your ex as you possibly can.

In my case, my sanity depended on having as little contact with my ex-husband as possible. He was both physically and verbally abusive before our separation.

His interpretation of the term "separation" seemed to be that he would have his own life and I would be mother-of-his-children and emotional-support-for-him and nothing else.

He managed to turn my tolerance into loathing.

" Most people have difficulties with rejection, especially the sort of person that you have described. "

This was my great sin...That I rejected her. The great her . I took such a pounding in the year we were separated I thought it would kill me.

i've never been married so maybe my experience isn't to your guys level. I got really pissed when a girlfriend of mine strait dumped me. (we were together and loved each other for a long time) and it was on good terms. but still, she got hella pissed and surprized when she became nothing to me. my response was this, "I mean cmon, you break up with me, hook up with somebody like one week later and you're mad because I act like you're nothing to me." I think she forgot who's heart was broken.

Been there. Sometimes the dumpers don't realize they're the ones being the jerk, and then end up getting jealous and throwing away everything you ever gave her in a fit of anger when she sees you hanging out with a cute sophomore in the cafeteria.