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Mon 18 Sep, 2017 12:02 am
My boyfriend and I have been together for six months. He's amazing probably the best boyfriend I ever had. He treats me well and is ultimately my best friend. However, tonight I encountered something I really didn't like. I went to do homework on his computer and he let me use his laptop on guest settings -- wouldn't let me use his screen. I thought this was strange and ultimately asked him jokingly like why couldn't I be on his screen did he have something to hide, no response from him to that just a laugh so I brushed it off. Then eventually he had to let me on his screen because the school thing I needed required a password which meant I had to be on his screen. There I saw it tons of porn apps and in the browsing history. I confronted him about it because I was upset and he told me it's not a big deal everyone does it. This broke my heart into two because I find porn to be absolutely disgusting and it's something I don't want to tolerate in a relationship. I have my own insecurities with it as well from a previous relationship with an ex. But overall I'm against the idea and won't put up with it. I feel as though if you're in a loving relationship where you get sex you don't need to browse the internet and get off on other naked women having sex. Thts completely wrong and since he views it differently than me I'm not sure he's going to stop! He was very adamant on the fact he thought it was no big deal and should be allowed because "all men do it" "all my friends do it and there girlfriends are okay with it" "men need it more often than woman" etc. so what do I do? I'm truly very upset over this. We couldn't communicate about it becsuse he felt he was right. So.. Will he truly stop? Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? I need advice. Thanks in advance.
@Taypaw,
Taypaw wrote:
I find porn to be absolutely disgusting and it's something I don't want to tolerate in a relationship.
There's your answer.
No one here needs to agree or disagree with you. You stated your stance right in the middle of your post.
Next case.
Yes. I agree with Chai.
YOU have set the parameters of the relationship.
It sounds like you didn't even know that he was viewing this stuff. It wasn't like he was up all night or watching it a inappropriate times (like when your two were having sex - I've seen that concern in another post!) or showing addictive behaviors about viewing it, was it?
He's not right about saying ALL guys view this. SOME do. He is right about young men in their 20's being very simulated about sex. But it's all downhill from there, for them. So maybe this is a "stage" he's going thru.
In any case, you tolerance is zero, as you have stated. So what are you going to do?