Guys tell you what you want to hear...

Maybe you are hanging out with the wrong guys. The idea is for the guy to get to know you as a person BEFORE you give him the opportunity to see your headboard.

Apparently, your modus operandi has not worked well for you in the past. Maybe now is the time to try a different approach!

Say you never have sex until 6 months of dating. That will sort them out lol. Even if you don't adhere to it, still say it, the guy won't know the difference.

thank you
your right australia, that does sound like it will work. I should first set a "rule" for myself and for the "potential bf" at least then it will buy me some time to decide if their the right one for me. Thank you

Good advice, Australia.

That's very true... If sex complicates and makes things weird, remove it from the picture. The best relationship I've had (aside from my current one) involved little to no sexual stuff at all for several months; it allowed us to become very close in every other way. I saw that he cared about me enough to stick around, so it gave me a chance to see his true character. And vice versa, I'm sure.

In a way, it forced us to become "friends" before lovers

with my last gf it took us so long to have sex on a regular basis cuz i was affraid of hurting her. She got scared in the beginning that she was pregnant and after that I couldn't do it cuz i knew it would ruin the relationship with her parents hating me. After she begged for so long I finally gave in and we started again. It was really amazing once we got back into it. it wasn't sex it was love

I guess im a rare breed. I love sex but I think with my mind first rather than my penis :wink:

I see you live in Seattle.

I live in Boston.

That's far.

I was going to tell you how beatiful you are, and how your personality just sparkles through the computer....

However, since you're not in booty-call range...I wouldn't say guys are any less honest than women, I'm come across some shady females in my time too. I can't tell you exactly how, but you gotta learn to read people a little better, I guess. Go into things with a little less expectations.

And if you're banging guys you don't feel a "connection" with right off the bat, then that's how they'll see the relationship, as sexual.

There are some guys that will tell you what you want to hear, and some that won't. Personally, I'd rather be upfront with her. If I don't want anything serious, I'll tell her. That can make the whole thing more attractive for a chick sometimes. Lying is just too difficult and sleazy.

Well, they'll feel a connection .......... just not the one you write of in your original question.

Really: there is still a double-standard (dam it all to heck!), so take your time.

Hey unlucky, how many "notches" are we talking about?

answer to how many "notches"
well, there's 8. I guess it's not too bad, I've definitely met girls my age with two or three times more than that. I just need to take a little time to figure out MY type before I go looking for him. I've decided to take a break from men for awhile anyway, guys my age still have the mentality of a 17 year old and it's a little tough trying to find someone compatible.

why not, if you really want to have time to get the know the guy...become friends and date without sex for say six months...but in order to keep the guy from getting frustrated allow him to get serviced sexually elewhere during that time...that seems like a small investment to get to know a potential Mr. Right wouldn't you say?

My suggestion? Don't get a boyfriend. Don't go out looking to score a committment. Go out, like guys do, looking to score a good time. (Sexually or other wise. That's up to you) Date 2,6, 14 guys at at time. You can either have sex with all of them or none of them. You can not call them back if you don't feel like it or you can send their phones off the ringer. You don't have to worry about whether or not he likes you enough because there is someone else waiting on the line to "test drive". Think like a man and free yourself from this society driven "Female Fantasy"; not every guy you date has got to be "Everything About Him is Perfect Mr. Right". 99% are Mr. Wrong but why worry about it? Have all the fun with Mr. Wrong so you are ready to settle down with Mr. Right. Mr. Wrong might be wrong but he's a hell of a lot of fun.
:wink:

The point is this. You are setting up an expectation for every relationship you form with a guy. Trust me. Nearly every guy will always fall short of these expectations. This isn't just you. It's every woman who thinks that magically men change when they meet a girl they like. (this is not saying anything bad about you; it is just being female)

The right guy is going to fall into your lap one day and you won't even be looking. That's how it always goes. Good luck. And relax. This is suppose to be fun. :wink:

guys will change for you..... but only until you fart in front of them the first time....then they figure the pressure's off and they can revert to their true selves....it's a well known dynamic.....

Kristie is right....stop putting so much damn thought into it, have fun, and whatever you're looking for will eventually fall on your lap.

I'm really not the type to go out and have "fun" with various guys...

Slappy doo hoo-

your from boston huh? how's the weather there?
and your right, I'll just focus on having fun and enjoying my youth rather than putting all my time into finding "mr. compatible"- thx for the input

Weather absolutely sucks right now. We got buried in snow Sunday night, and it's in the 20's right now. Great in the summer though.

weather
we had frost this morning but the sun is out now and it's nice today-- wishing for snow though! I've been planning to go sledding but everyone seems to think we need snow first- geez- so just waiting around for that- send some my way.

Screw that, I hate snow. Cleaning off the car, people driving like idiots, it's a mess. Only positive is hopefully I'll go snowboarding this coming year, if I can find anyone to go with.

my buddy said he would teach me how to snow board this winter. I'm not sure I want to- with my experience in skateboarding I'm "goofy footed" and I don't really want to make an a$$ out of myself in front of the guys. But I might who knows maybe I'll surprise myself and do really good.