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Similes from High School Essays

 
 
Ragman
 
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2003 10:35 am
Each simile listed below was actually used by high school students in their various essays and short stories:

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 P.M. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie, this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "second tall man".

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers race across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 P.M. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 P.M. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr. Pepper can.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 1,865 • Replies: 12
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2003 10:40 am
love them!
0 Replies
 
Equus
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2003 10:58 am
Love 'em too.
Not that it matters, but I believe these are intentional adult writings from the Edward Bulwer-Lytton memorial contest, run by San Jose state Univ. for composing the worst opening sentence for a novel. Bulwer-Lytton was an author infamous for bad writing, who actually started a novel with "It was a dark and stormy night." Bulwer-Lytton is best remembered nowadays for his novel "The Last Days of Pompeii".
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2003 11:01 am
It wouldn't surprise me Equus.
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2003 12:24 pm
ragman- That's two today. I have had the best laughs from your posts!

Very Happy
0 Replies
 
Dartagnan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2003 12:34 pm
Agreed that they read like satire. A bit too labored for the average high school dunderhead. Besides, I thought some of them were kinda clever!
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2003 12:49 pm
The hefty bag/ vegetable soup one was certainly... vivid.
0 Replies
 
dream2020
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2003 01:02 pm
As was the nose hair one
0 Replies
 
gezzy
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Feb, 2003 12:13 am
Those are a riot, LOL!
0 Replies
 
LarryBS
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Feb, 2003 12:59 am
Don't know what you all are talking about - the writing looks perfectly okay to me. Shocked

The BULWER-LYTTON FICTION CONTEST
0 Replies
 
Boephe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2005 05:27 am
her lips were like petals, bicycle petals.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2005 06:00 am
Delightful, Ragman. Very Happy
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Sep, 2005 06:45 am
thanks, ms olga.

I still have the A2K notification set from 2 years ago and got the notice that this posting was active again. Surprise!
0 Replies
 
 

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