mental health

well you should talk with someone about that

You should talk to a professional therapist about what you are feeling.

Are you watching child porn or spending a lot of time with younger children?

NOT AT ALL why do you even ask

"Intrusive thoughts" - can you think of a source?

why put air quotes round it and yes it happens when i think back to a time i had these thoughts or when i read something in the news

YOU said you fear "intrusive thoughts." That's why it's in quote marks. Your words, not mine.

These thoughts have a source. Child porn is not about sex. It's about control, dominance, frustration and anger.

Since you are young, you need to get the skills to look at these feelings and find their source. A professional therapist could help you.

i dont want or need any of that though control, dominance, frustration and anger.

If this attraction to children is a FLEETING thought, then let it go.

If it interferes with your life and/or takes over your ability to interact with people, get some help.

You say you have a lot of intrusive thoughts. Have you ever been evaluated for OCD?

NO I HAVENS THOUT OF THAT and i dont feel attracted to kids im scared it will start or develope

Being gay is in no way bad and is totally unrelated to being a pedophile. You're no more likely to end up one than anyone else is, so there's no need to beat yourself up.

I'd recommend seeing a therapist just for your own benefit if you're having suicidal thoughts, though. Therapy can be very helpful.

First of all, you don't need to be under any categorization as part of a general rule.

For example, a dude was asked why he was gay, and he responded, "because he had bad luck with women". Only available way to have sex was other men's butts. He was never attracted to men, he likes women.

Second, relax.

In order to overcome ideas of becoming a pedophile, you must find the practical way, something to be your rule for life.

Let me give you another example.

You watch the movie Scarface.

This dude Tony Montana (performed by Al Pacino) is a criminal of the worst. He has no mercy when is about to kill somebody whom he considers his enemy.

A dude over him in drug mafia level, asked him to eliminate a person who will show the pictures of several guys involved in drug business. The gangster agreed to the killing.

A bomb was put under the car of the target, and the explosion was supposed to happen in front of the building where this guy will make his presentation.

Don't stop reading, keep following the story.

It happens that the guy picked up his wife and children as well, so the target wasn't him alone anymore but now will be extent to his family as well.

Tony Montana started to think about the new scenario. He felt OK about killing the other guy, but killing the other guy's children was a different story.

Tony Montana felt the pressure of a mafia guy who was sent to him for monitoring his actions for the murdering.

Tony Montana refused to kill the guy and his wife and children and killed the other mafia dude instead.

_________________________________________

Now, here is the expression of Tony Montana when he was in complete disagreement in killing those children who were in the targeted car

"I don't need this sh*t in my life".

_________________________________________

A murderer, a drug trafficker, a bad guy in several aspects, but not a child killer.

You can imitate Tony Montana and overcome those thoughts which are bothering you.

Think about those children, they don't deserve to be hurt by you. You are free to have sex with men, women, older women, older men, whoever, but children must not be your desired sex partners neither now neither later in life.

I guess that every time such kind of thoughts come to your mind, you just be strong and say to yourself, "no, I don't need this sh*t in my life".

Then, do something else to distract yourself from those thoughts.

Probably will work for you.

Okay i hear you but im 18 im not going to sudenly turn of men and change my attraction to children or am i. I meani have never found them sexually attractive but what if that starts and im just paniking

Of all the thousands of phobias, you are in a panic about this one.

A professional therapist can help you figure this out.

I agree re seeing a therapist.
I've a guess, that the problem is fear.

He says he fearful of becoming the perpetrator - not the victim.

But I wonder about that.

i was sort of sexually abused when I was younger by my sister once so could this trigger it will this turn me

Talk to a professional therapist about your concerns.

Then, don't worry about it now because such is not happening yet.

There is no reason to be afraid for something that you yourself are not sure that such kind of sexual attraction will be one day your primary sexual need.

But, if one day you are in the situation in wanting to have sex with a child, then that is the moment to face fear with courage and you better say "I don't need this sh*t in my life", and turn your thoughts and intentions away.