"who" or "whom"

I think whom is right in both of those - the second might even be "with whom". It's supposed to be whom unless the who is the subject of the sentence. But I usually just say "who" anyway.

Things are generally pretty soft on the who/whom issue these days, but Rufio is correct as far as I know: whom is an object (to whom, with whom) and Who is the subject of a sentence.

If you use it correctly, then you end up re-ordering the sentence so it doesn't sound so stilted:
With whom are you staying? With whom do I need to meet? or or I need to meet with whom?

'Whom' in both cases. Things may be 'pretty soft' in spoken English these days, Lois, but there is still such a thing as correct grammar in written English. 'Who' is in the nominative case, 'whom' in the objective case. There's no question about it in the two examples given.

Also, for proper grammar remember the rule, never end a sentence with a preposition. So, the first sentence should read:
With whom are you staying?

Is it always wrong to end a sentence with a preposition?
What about these:
1)"What are you looking for?"
2)"What are you waiting for?"

By the way these are questions, not sentences.

I don't believe that that's taught any more, infra. There are plenty of examples, like the ones keen2learn has cited, where there is nothing wrong with ending a sentence with a preposition. The test is whether the sentence makes sense that way, not whether it conforms to an arbitrary rule.

When you have a question, turn it into a statement.
You can usually then substitute 'he' or 'him' to get 'who' or whom.'

i.e. You are staying with he or You are staying with him.

"From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put." - Winston Churchill.

Sorry, my bad.

With regard to the statement that you cited questions not sentences; questions are sentences. They are interrogative sentences as opposed to declarative sentences which state facts.

Yeah, I know the "preposition at the end of a sentence" rule is pretty dead, arbitrary rules based on Latin models. I don't usually abide by it anymore either, along with the "split infinitive" rule. I remember when they used to be stressed for supposed "proper grammar." That's getting longer, and longer ago.

That brings up a pet peeve of some.

Some people hate to hear the use of the word "got' in sentences such as "Got milk?" But, there isn't anything grammatically incorrect as far as clarity of expression is concerned, it merely sounds ugly to some ears.

This thread is a veritable motherlode of old prescriptions, isn't it?

..............................

CGEL: Some prescriptive works [and those who repeat them] present rules that have no basis in the way that language is actually used by the majority of its native speakers, and are not even claimed to have any such basis - as though the manual writer's own judgements of taste took precedence over those of any other speaker of the language.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

1) "Who are you staying with?" OR "Whom are you staying with?"


It's abundantly clear that both examples in 1) belong to standard English. The only difference is that the second is more formal.

Do you know....Who or whom your looking for?

CORRECT ENGLISH, PEOPLE!!

the use of whom
Hallo!

I found in a book a sentence cited as an example of the use of "whom". The book is written by Robort Thurber.[A grammarian]

He says "whom are you anyways" is a correct phrase which is used in extremely formal situation for example in a session of a parliament.

I found this pretty odd.

"Anyways" I have never heard, and on top of that "whom"!!! It's soooo very confusing.

can any native speaker plz help?

Who or Whom ???

Hope you all woudln't mind my input.

I just want to share what I've learnt.

Use Who .

ex : Who are you playing with ?


Use Whom.

ex: With whom are you playing ?

What I remember is...
When using Who - preposition put at the end of a sentence is OK.
When using Whom - the preposition shouldn't be put at the end of a sentence.

Hope any English native speaker could please help ...

If I can put forth my 2 cents:

The "who/whom" distinction is so unclear to even most native speakers simply because "whom" is almost completely dead on this side of the Atlantic (I'm in the US and don't know much about British usage). It has been completely overtaken by "who" in all contexts, across the board.

What it's really used for these days is to separate people into classes based on level of education (and even that has largely waned as well, due to the aging of the population that was educated in that fashion). In other words, it's not an issue of grammatical correctness; rather it's a social status symbol to be lorded over others.

In other words, for all you non-native speakers out there, learn the "rule" if it's required on standardized tests. Do NOT include it in your own writing as you will sound stilted. And finally, avoid it in speech at all cost!

English is like a difficult cross word puzzel with no ending. :wink:

well put!