My sex appetite is stronger than my bf's. What to do to stop the frustration?

Honeymoon faze sometimes passes for couples, they prefer the "love"of each other than the intimacy of sex, is he still intimate? Does he kiss you and mean it?

Age is but a number but you say long distance to a degree, once a week you see each other yet he's only around the corner.

I hate to ask this but..... How well do you know this person? You met him at 19, him 49... I'd be doing all it takes to hang onto a woman that I love at that age, it's only a thought but I ask because, once a week he sees you and he's 30 years older, I mean at 22 you would be going out with friends, at clubs, pubs, having a good time, a man would feel threatened unless..............he's...........maybe.............in a relationship or married.

Is this a possibility do you think.

If not.... you have to speak with him and remind him of your age, remind him of your needs / wants / desires, it's never one sided. Two people make the effort if in love.

Thanks @FOUNDSOUL for your generous response. Through the years i got to know him better and deeper. I met his family and he met mine. He has kids from a previous relationship but never married. We travelled outside the country a couple of times already, some only the two of us, and twice already with his family (e.g. parents, siblings, nephews and nieces). Im from SE Asia and his kids study in the US so havent met them yet. Not until next year.

He still kisses me but not really with tongue and i dont want to ask anymore why as it might complicate simple things. Tbh i want to just make out with him sometimes but I dont even know how to initiate. Only thing i care about now is that when he does kiss me in the lips or somewhere in my body when we are cuddling i feel it's genuine. Anyways, I already tried to speak with him and it didn't really end well (no yelling or bad tones). I let him hung up th phone cos he has been in a very tough work woe in the past 7 months so i try inasmuch not to aggravate it. But the good thing I got from telling him was that at least I got my message across. Up to him now what to do with it. We will be going to Japan next week and Im afraid i screwed it up even before we got there.

Sometimes im the one who's busy, as im pushing to finish my Master's next year. But I sure do put the effort. I believe he also does but that's just the best he can give for now. I've seen better days before and it was great. I guess, for now I just want to think of ways to curb my sexual appetite? Or lessen my frustration when I cant get some. How's that?

If this doesn't change on your trip to Japan, then re- think this relationship. Your sex drive is only going to increase. He's on the downside of his best sexual peak. This is only going to grow as a concern for you.

I fear that a lot too. I've already imagined myself growing old with him and of course him beimg even older, he's such a great partner and made a huge influence in my life.. or at least I let him influence me some good stuff. But yah that's the huge downside that the sex would get rarer and rarer, and I love him enough not to leave him because of sex issues. This is more difficult than I imagined. I don't want to risk being with some guy my age who's at his prime too but will more likely to sleep around too cos I got issues with that and a terrible experience

He is old enough to be your father. He knows this.

Did it ever occur to you that he may be shutting you down so that you will break up with him? It would be your decision but he has set up the scenario.

Have a heart to heart to him and find out what he is thinking.

Get a grip on yourself.

In the early seventies I saw a sign in a porn shop that said, "Different strokes for different folks, feel free to stroke your own."

Or I guess you could cheat on him.

Are you looking for permission?

He may be taking medication that is decreasing his sex drive or it's also possible he's dealing with manopause / mid-life crisis. You need to have a sit down talk about your relationship and where it's going (if anywhere) and then address your concerns. Don't do this over the phone!

It may be possible he's setting that mood but I believe I know him well enough to just let me go if he doesn't love or want me anymore rather than letting hints or throwing subtle signals to do it for him.

Hey if you're an expert on opening up can you pls help me.. that's another thing I hate about myself, I cant build the courage to intiiate that talk. Or maybe its cos I know right now is not the best moment to do so? Because he has more pressing sort-of financial issues he needs to take care of first before my emotional needs. And I get that. I just don't know how to set him in the mood to talk about this. Maybe I'm also afraid to even try with the fear of initiating bad arguments.

P.S. i laughed too hard at "Don't do this over the phone" because that's what I did recently haha

Sorry, was the suggestion to masturbate? Lol sorry had to confirm.

It did cross my mind to cheat but never really had any interest on it. I like to stay in a monogamous relationship and truthfully I can't imagine myself doing it with someone else. At least not yet

Can't get the courage to ask:
"Hey babe, how come we don't make love like we used to? Anything wrong?"

My thought is that without judging, you were trying to determine which was stronger: your connection to him or your sex drive.

Sometimes the answer's in the question. Sometimes one needs to lead with one's heart.

I understand your situation. My wife after her partial hysterectomy lost what was a healthy sex drive. I struggled with it for a couple of years and came to the conclusion that if the situation were reversed she'd make an adjustment for me. I love her and I've made my adjustment for her.

Make your adjustment based on how much you love him. So far it seems you and I have made the same decisions based our love for our spouses.

Stress can also decrease libido, so he's likely sort of suffering from several directions.

Confrontation can be hard, but it isn't necessarily a negative thing. If it's important enough for you to experience stress, it's important enough to talk about. Express how you feel without projecting blame and keep it personal, "I". For example, "I feel like we haven't been as intimate as we used to be. I would like it if we could be more intimate during our time together."

Avoid something like "...it makes me feel like you don't love me." While it may be honest, it puts him on the defensive because you've made it about him instead of you. Express your concern, keep it personal, and present a possible solution.