Questions to Ponder...

· Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
· How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
· When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
· If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
· "What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
· What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
· If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
· If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
· How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
· Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
· Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
· Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
· If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
· Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
· Why do bullies always ask "what's your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?
· Do stairs go up or down?
· When people say, "I'm so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny"…. why would it even be funny in the first place?
· Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
· If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change
their name to Knockers?
· Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
· When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
· Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
· Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
· "Cute as a button". Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
· Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
· Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
· Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
· Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
· Can you get cornered in a round room?
· Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?
· Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
· If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
· Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
· How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
· Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
· Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
· "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
· Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
· Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
· What happens if you put "this side up" face down while popping microwave popcorn?
· Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
· How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
· If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
· If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
· Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
· Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
· Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
· Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
· Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
· Why do dogs sniff other dog's butts to say hello? Why don't they just bark in their face or something?
· Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?
· If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
· You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?
· Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway?
· In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
· Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
· Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
· If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
· Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be "under par" in any thing else?
· Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
· Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
· How come you pay an extra 25 cents to get something put on your hamburger but they don't take off the price if you get something taken off?
· If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn't you be able to go anywhere you want?
· If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?
· What would happen if you were to feed a pig some bacon?
· If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn't we now be seeing people from the future?
· Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?
· Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to
hit in case of an accident?
· Since there is a rule that states "i" before "e" except after "c", wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong?
· Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?
· Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
· Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
· Why is the St. Louis baseball team the cardinals, but the Missouri state bird is the Blue Bird?
· Why are public toilet seats never complete ovals?
· Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants?
· Shouldn't they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?
· If shampoo comes in so many colors, why is the lather on your head always white?
· If money is the root of all evil then how come churches ask for it?