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Should i continue to ask her out

 
 
john88
 
Reply Mon 21 Aug, 2017 07:45 pm
Allright, it all started while I was drinking coffee with my friends and she was there. She asked me few times in 2 nights literally "When will you call me out for coffee". I just responded to her: "I will" and continued talking with everyone. After that while we were still siting in the cafe she added me on fb and showed me she has like hundreds of man waiting to be accepted (I think she tried to impress me lol...). Ok next day cause I found her attractive I called her out and she said yes. We were at cafe for like 3 or 4 hours and she gave me signs shes interested in me like: 1. she doesnt have boyfriend, 2. she told me like "I didnt wana go with many other man and when i went with few I didnt have fun like I do with u", 3. she told me she had really fun time at the end of the date. Next 3 days after the date I was the one to text her first and ask her how are things going etc, and she would reply normally and ask back. After that I have asked her to go out and she told me she cant because she has to go somewhere with her mom. Next day I saw her siting with her friend (female) because we live in same neighborhood (meaning I didnt stalk her xD) and passed like I didnt see them (I was frustrated because she lied, and she couldnt see me only her friend could if she talked to her about me-idk if she mentioned me to her and showed her how I look). After that I told myself that i will not text her first or ask her to go out again, meaning if she wants to hang out she will ask. After that she didnt text or ask or anything and we have seen each other spontaneously and I acted cool like nothing happend. I dont know wtf this girl wanted? Maybe she just wanted to play mind games or she likes to make guys want her. Should I text her or let her go (I dont wana get embarassed by bad persons - im not sure if she is one but good ones certainly dont do this because she knows my close friends and we were all like going out). Thanks for answers in advance!
 
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Mon 21 Aug, 2017 08:27 pm
@john88,
How do you know her mother wasn't in the bathroom?

Or that she did something with her mother before she saw her friend, or was going to do something with her mother after?

If you're going to be examining and dissecting every word this person utters, do her and favor and leave her alone.

If you're going to be going through all this with a person you just met, I can't imagine what it would be like if you end up dating her.
john88
 
  0  
Reply Mon 21 Aug, 2017 08:37 pm
@chai2,
so its normal for man to continue to pursue girl for (allways text first eaven if she doesnt give a ****?). Well if you ask her out and she declines isnt ir propper (if she likes you) to say like: "we can do it tommorow or sometime else idk...
Maybe im not right thats why i ask sorry.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Aug, 2017 08:42 pm
@john88,
john88 wrote:
After that I have asked her to go out and she told me she cant because she has to go somewhere with her mom.


at that point did you ask her to suggest another day/time?
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Aug, 2017 08:43 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:


If you're going to be examining and dissecting every word this person utters, do her and favor and leave her alone.

If you're going to be going through all this with a person you just met, I can't imagine what it would be like if you end up dating her.
0 Replies
 
john88
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Aug, 2017 08:45 pm
@ehBeth,
no I tought she would do it herself if she wanted to go out... Isnt it the normal thing to do if ur interested or should I have done it? Im geting confused right now.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Mon 21 Aug, 2017 08:47 pm
@john88,
Do you have some kind of rulebook the rest of us don't know about?

sheesh

john88
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Aug, 2017 08:49 pm
@ehBeth,
its not the rulebook, im not some arrogant idiot nor I think too highly of myself I just think its normal thing to do. What would you have done?
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Mon 21 Aug, 2017 10:15 pm
@john88,
I think we have both precisely answered your question.

Why are you asking ehBeth what she would have done?

Do you think she's saying something she wouldn't do herself?

The fact that after knowing this person for a very brief time, and that you would immediately jump to the conclusion she was lying to you, is disturbing.

I notice you're avoiding address that, and instead are attempting to deflect by manufacturing in your mind what she "should have done"

The short answer is, if you want to ask her out again, do so. If you don't, then don't.

We're not going to tell you what to do so you can then say it was out of your control "They told me this is what I should do"





john88
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Aug, 2017 10:51 pm
@chai2,
ty you vm Smile
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Aug, 2017 01:43 am
@john88,
I presume you have always been somewhat socially awkward?

I'm not saying that as a bad thing - many people are that way. Looking for advice when you can't work it out is the right thing to do (in just about any circumstance).

Personally, I would leave the girl alone. Many people, boys & girls included, don't know how to say no - the rights or wrongs of this are not really changeable, but realising that this exists is. Many people (particularly younger ones) feel like they are a bad person if they hurt another persons feelings, and so they say one thing while meaning another, hoping the other person will just 'get the hint, and' go away.

It's not particularly fair, and it's not 'nice' (particularly to the person on the receiving end, who is told one thing but experiencing another), but it just is.

She was interested, and now she's not. Simple.
0 Replies
 
 

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