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Headlines for 2003?

Forums: News, 2003
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nimh
 
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 04:37 am
An invitation to all you crystal- and stargazers and other literati with imagination -

What will be the most pertinent, striking and surprising headlines in 2003? What headlines, whether on major topics or minor ones, political or international news or technology, science, the Internet, fashion or lifestyle, will in later years most poignantly remind you of what kind of year 2003 was? Serious suggestions are appreciated, irony is encouraged. Smile
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 3,118 • Replies: 24
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 07:29 am
"Impressed By The Successful American Operation In Iraq, Kim Dismantles His Nuclear Facilities".
"Bin Laden Found Dead In His Secret Refuge; Suicide Or Assassination?"
"Arafat Resigns From The Post Of The PA Chairman; Free Elections Will Take Place In October 2003"
"Polls Show That 85 Percent Of Americans Support Policies Of Bush"
"Number Of AIDS Patients In Sub-Saharan Africa Shows Trend To Decline"
"Norwegian Nobel Committee Regards George W. Bush As The Most Probable Nobel Peace Prize Winner"[/size]
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 07:58 am
lol
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PDiddie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:06 am
e-mail some of those intoxicants, please
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:08 am
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PDiddie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:35 am
Not interested in the headlines as they are pure fantasy

AM interested in the chemicals ingested to produce the fantasies

(on second thought...never mind)
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:41 am
I do not take drugs and do not abuse alcohol. I just try being optimistic.
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 09:00 am
and visions of sugar plums danced in their heads
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JoanneDorel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 09:08 am
I wish just heard this on CNN, "nuclear domino theory" as a reason for war with Iraq. Shades of Viet Nam I never expected to have to relive this kind of mess again. George Tenet head of CIA was the speaker. I guess that will be a new headline for younger generations.

My headline would read: U.S. Engages In Failed Policies of the Past
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 09:27 am
George W Bush says "Oops, never mind"
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nimh
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 10:38 am
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New Haven
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 10:47 am
"Bush selects Powell as VP for 2004"
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PDiddie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 10:53 am
(subhead for New Haven's above)
"Cheney to be Buried in Undisclosed Location"
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nimh
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 11:17 am
<grins>

What about:

"Al-Jazeera to air weekly excerpts from Bin Laden's weblog" ?

"Rumsfeld lambasts 'bully' characterization: 'scandalous slur from irrelevant old Europe politicians' who 'act on their own peril'"

:wink:

Still ... anything outside the Bush/Iraq/Bin Laden configuration? What will be new on the net, for example? Elsewhere in day to day life? Revolutionary new pill guarantees extra inches ... oh no, wait, that was spam.
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 11:34 am
Michael Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor Announce Wedding Plans: Ringbearer to be Dangled Over Balcony During Ceremony

Nutritionist Uncovers Secret of Losing Weight Without Diet, Exercise or Drugs; is Killed by bus While Travelling to Conference to Announce Findings

Dick Cheney is Operated On, in an Undisclosed Location
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 11:38 am
Microsoft Corp. Develops New Version Of Operational System Completely Free Of Bugs And Security Failures.
NASDAQ gains 12 Percent In a Week
Unemployment Rate In The USA Plunges To 2.5 Percent
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nimh
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 12:15 pm
I applaud your powers of positive thinking, steissd ... A bug-free MS product, wow! ;-)

I saw this cartoon yesterday ... Man comes to the psychistrist, says: I have a positive outlook on life. I believe in a positive attitude!". Psych: Well, that's good ... Man: But it's hard, though! Psych: How so? Man: Because the world's one big fucked up mess, and we're all going to hell!
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 12:53 pm
One small clarification. I do not believe that all these headlines that I proposed are possible in close future. It is just my dream, and my wish of success to the USA and to her people.
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PDiddie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 01:36 pm
These subheadlines appear under "Global Warning Creates Thousands of Miles of New Oceanfront Property":

"Hawaii Gone (But May Reappear if Volcanoes Stay Active)"

"Suicide Jumpers No Longer a Threat at The Golden Gate"

"Houston, New Orleans, Charlotte Disappear (And No One Seems to Care)"

"West Virginia Welcomes First-Ever Miss Coppertone Competition"

"State of Florida No Longer Resembles Flaccid Penis"
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nimh
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 May, 2006 01:36 pm
And the amazing thing is ... not a single one of these predicted headlines became reality!!

Nobody ever ask us what horse to bet on...
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