4 Years is a long time to be with someone and be in love, to then be rejected due to culture.
Yet, you moved on and got engaged to someone else but your heart was still with this guy.
Both of you. He didn't want someone else to have you. You didn't want to lose the person you once loved. And, so you married.
Is this the honest reason to marry someone?
People that say hurtful things, end up getting it back 10 fold. It ways on someone's heart strings but also he's a "man" and to be told "another man" was better than him in bed, stated to a Husband. I can't understand why you can't understand how much that actually can hurt a guy.
This marriage in my opinion was doomed. I think that you want what you can't have.
There is no such thing as " I have no where to go". There are friends, there are family, there is someone always someone.
I recently helped a young girl well 30 years of age, a tenant and housed her until she could free herself from abuse, all-be-it she went back for a couple of months, then I helped her again. Hopefully, she's done. And, hopefully, she will stay in touch and be "ok".
There is always an answer if you look for it .
How to move on from here emotionally. Marry someone that you love that you know loves you back, that you both treat each other with respect and love and if you don't feel that, stay single until you find him.