Hello everyone....

Does this girl know how to write a letter? You know, with paper and pen and envelope? I know there is time to do that for sure since phone and computer time is restricted in boot camp. Has her mother heard from her?

Not that i know of.

It's hard to tell from here, at least for sure, but because you don't hear what she is dealing with, any reader would understand worry.

Maybe she has personal stuff going on.. re what she wants in life. Maybe she finds you stifling her. Maybe she is dealing with coping day to day. Or, being exhilarated that she is really into a new place, in her mind. Maybe she found a new lover and is dealing with that.

Go back to her recruiter where she signed up and ask about the timetable for bootcamp. Sure its been 4 months?

That last part really worries me tbh.... i hope thats not the case and if so she should at least tell me if thats the case.

10 weeks for US Army basic training

Hope im not bothering anyone but given the fact that i love her means that i will wait for her.

I can only agree that three months is a very long time.

I know it is but i wont give up.

I wouldn't care if my significant other was hiking the Appalachian Trail, if it had been three or four months since I'd heard from her I'd probably move on. There are SO many ways to maintain a basic level of contact if she desired to do so. It's not like they stick you in a lead lined box for three months.

People responding on this thread don't know anything about boot camp. My son went through this as a soldier, and we went through this as a family.

1. Boot camp is really difficult. It is designed to be difficult. Many people wash out, and many of the people who end up making it have to push through questioning their decision all of the way. You need to understand this first of all. Don't demand anything of her, don't ask her to make a decision about anything. Just be there for her and tell her you care, that is all you can do until she gets set up in her new life.

2. Boot camp is followed up by specialty training. From your perspective, this is just more boot camp. It is still really hard. People here saying it's 10 weeks don't have a clue. Depending on her MOS, it is significantly more than that.

3. During boot camp, the only way to communicate for most of the time is through hand written letters (the kind with an actual stamp on them). Access to a cell phone or email or text messages is rare. If you haven't sent your girlfriend letters and packages... do so now. That is the only way you have to show you care. My advice, do this now!

4. If you have been dating her for 4 years, hopefully you are on good terms with her family. If you are, offer your support to her family. They can help you understand what is going on.

5. You should do two things right now. First write a letter, by hand, and mail it. The army will always deliver mail. Mail is sacred in the military (the Drill Sergeants aren't allowed to use mail as a punishment).

Second, buy something small, but meaningful to you and her and send it as a package. But, be aware that anything you send in a package is public (everyone can see it) and Drill Instructor are allowed to take it (so make it something that doesn't have much value), and they can use it as a punishment.

A woman sent her boyfriend a pair of her panties while he was in basic training. The drill Instructor took the panties in front of the entire class, and hung them in the common area of the barracks, and they stayed there. After graduation the Sergeant thanked her for the inspiration she provided to every member of her class.... so be careful what you send.

But she will appreciate a package... make it something meaningful, and remember that this isn't the time to be demanding that she make a decision. Just be caring and supportive.

Basic training ... is what 10 weeks. She'll likely go from basic training directly to Advanced Training so she can learn her upcoming MOS [Military Occupation Specialties].

When I went through this process, it was hellish and stressful (I suspect she might be going through a more stringent training period given the US military's stricter standards when I went through). Let her process her training so she can graduate. She's probably having a difficult time already.

When you're exhausted from drilling and training during basic training? You don't have time or energy to write a letter.

True story...

One of my son's female friends sent him a large package in the middle of boot camp. The sergeant had the package in front of the company as they were in formation during a difficult part of boot camp (the company had just screwed something up and the sergeants weren't happy). So the sergeant wasn't about to give them any slack.

So the sergeant opens up the box and says "what do we have here?". He pulls out a large stuffed animal. It was fluffy. It was pink. It had hearts on it.

Then the Sergeant yelled "What the F*** is this!!!". "Is this yours Dancona?" my son, trying not to laugh "I don't know drill instructor". "It says Dancona on the Box, is that your name???". "Yes drill instructor" said my son. The Drill Sergeant is trying not to laugh, my son is doing everything he can to not laugh. The rest of the company is having trouble not laughing.

The Drill Sergeant isn't sure what else to say.... he ended saying that they were taking it to the shooting range.

My son said that that package came at the perfect time, and helped him get through a rough patch.

Ive had several men in my family go thru boot camps. (2 Marine Corps, 2 Army and 1 miliary academy) The drill instructor makes them write letters to home at some point just to let folks know they are OK.

Bet the family has heard from her.

Punkey, you are being cruel again. It wouldn't hurt you to try a little kindness once in a while.