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Sat 5 Aug, 2017 08:53 pm
The guy I have been involved with for 8 months is sending me mixed signals. Lately, we've been in a long distance relationship, however, he will be returning within the next week. Over the last couple months our communication has become less with each other. I've tried initiating contact with him, but he ends up ignoring my message and saying he was busy. I used to be very accepting when he told me he was busy, however, I always saw him on Facebook messenger or doing things that would prove he has time to communicate with me. Two weeks ago I told him to let me know if he has moved on, just so I know where he is at with our relationship. Then he replied saying, "I'm so sorry I have been distant. I think about us a lot. I haven't been with anyone else if that's what you're wondering." Then we texted a little bit more, and he ended up not responding to one of my messages (which is usual for him sometimes). So two more weeks go by and no communication whatsoever.
What does this mean? Why couldn't he just tell me he moved on? I'm completely confused...
@vanilletwilight,
Pretty common. Some folks have a hard time being the "bad guy". He's likely wanting you to break up with him so he doesn't have to experience the negative emotions or fallout of initiating a breakup.
@tibbleinparadise,
I see. But he has done things like this before where he's ignored me for 2 weeks, where he's disappeared & ghosted me. Then he comes back into my life. It's so confusing
@vanilletwilight,
He gets bored and he returns.
@jespah,
Why do guys do this? Is it because he sees me as an option ?
@vanilletwilight,
Not guys. This guy.
He sounds like he's just really bad at ghosting.
Do both of you a favor and block him.
@vanilletwilight,
You say he'll be back within the week. Maybe he has something he wants to talk to you about in person. Wait a week/10 days, see if he gets in touch.
Let him deal with his return without sending him texts/notes/calls.
If he doesn't get in touch after his return, you may as well cut contact completely.
@vanilletwilight,
vanilletwilight wrote:
Why do guys do this?
why does anyone do it? it's not specific to men or women. some people are better/worse at communicating.
@vanilletwilight,
My wife has spent the past three months trying to convince me to kick her out and divorce her. Trust me, his behavior isn't limited to just guys. In her case, she enjoys the victim role so her leaving us doesn't fit that narrative. Since you guys are legally attached to each other, I'd take one of his quiet streaks to let him go and cut him off...block him...whatever. Less stressful for you in the long run.
@tibbleinparadise,
Yeah you're right. Thanks for the advice. It's just hard to move on from someone, who you have feelings for but they don't have feelings anymore.
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