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Am I wrong for stopping a guy during sex?

 
 
Reply Sat 22 Jul, 2017 11:09 pm
Hello all, I just wanted to know a different opinion on why I stopped a guy during sex. I almost feel guilty when I think about it and I want to know if I'm wrong.

So he was about to put his dick inside me and I stopped him and asked if he had a condom. I could tell he didn't want to wear one and was bothered that i even asked him. He goes "really? You really want me to put one on?" So I was like "yes".
I made him wear a condom because 1. It was a one night stand type of thing, (I was drunk and he wooed me & usually don't do one night stands). 2. I'm literally not on birth control or anything because I literally JUST started having sex lol.

So he gets up and puts on a condom and takes a long time because I could tell he really didn't want to wear one. So we're having sex and it was for a long time. So while he's having sex with me his dick popped out and I put it back in and I noticed he didn't have the condom on. I literally stopped him and got off of him and I was like "why would you take it off" like I was upset that he literally took the condom off without me noticing and kept ******* me. Like I don't know if this guy has STD's & I didn't want to get pregnant so I literally stopped having sex with him lmao. He was trying to convince me to keep going and I repeatedly
siad no. I felt bad that he didn't get to cum so I blew him for a little bit but then I stopped-- so yeah, he didn't cum.... am I wrong for being upset with this guy?
 
centrox
 
  2  
Reply Sun 23 Jul, 2017 12:35 am
Removing a condom during sex - known as stealthing - transforms a consensual act into a non-consensual one. It is a form of gender violence. For most men, the reason they remove condoms - often when changing positions so their partner doesn’t notice - is because they prefer the feel of sex without wearing one. But some also do so to exert power over their partners. Whatever the reason or reasons, this guy is part (or all of) the way to being a rapist and you had and have every right to be angry. It's like his action says to you 'You are a piece of **** and what you want doesn't matter'.

You aren't put on this earth to make guys feel good. You didn't have to blow him to make up for stopping him screwing you. Maybe you were scared? This sounds like abuse.
centrox
 
  2  
Reply Sun 23 Jul, 2017 12:54 am
I think a stealther is a rapist. In some countries stealthing is a crime, and in Switzerland last year a man was convicted of rape because of it.

The term stealthing makes it sound sneaky and maybe a bit naughty and just an inevitable part of sex, and that's not true. Women deserve better than that.

0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jul, 2017 05:11 am
@centrox,
Don't be ridiculous What the OP is describing is bad sex-- not "gender violence", and certainly not rape. She was having sex with someone she didn't respect and who didn't respect her. I don't know what she was expecting. That's all.

If you go around sleeping with strangers who you don't have any sort of real relationship with, you are going to have bad sex. If a woman doesn't enjoy bad sex, than she shouldn't do it. It's the same for a man.
maxdancona
 
  8  
Reply Sun 23 Jul, 2017 06:43 am
@dropdead,
To answer the question, it was not wrong for you to stop him. In fact, in my opinion you should have just left after the first disagreement. Once things broke down you had no obligation to help him finish.

You should think twice before putting yourself in this situation again. Having sex while you are drunk rarely ends well for either person. And, doing anything sexual out of a sense of guilt is never good (you don't owe a partner anything). If you are having sex with people you don't know well after drinking, you should figure out how to change your behavior. I would give this same advice to the man (I believe in equality).

My advice is to find partners that you have a relationship with, that you can respect and trust that they will treat you with respect. If someone doesn't do this, you should get up and leave right away with no sense of guilt. Great sex is when both partners are listening to each other and trying to please each other.

centrox
 
  3  
Reply Sun 23 Jul, 2017 07:06 am
@maxdancona,
maxdancona wrote:
You should think twice before putting yourself in this situation again.

Yes!
maxdancona wrote:
Having sex while you are drunk rarely ends well for either person.

Yes!
maxdancona wrote:
And, doing anything sexual out of a sense of guilt is never good (you don't owe a partner anything).

Yes!
maxdancona wrote:
If you are having sex with people you don't know well after drinking, you should figure out how to change your behavior.

Yes!
maxdancona wrote:
I would give this same advice to the man (I believe in equality).

STDs are firm believers in equality too.

maxdancona wrote:
My advice is to find partners that you have a relationship with, that you can respect and trust that they will treat you with respect. If someone doesn't do this, you should get up and leave right away with no sense of guilt. Great sex is when both partners are listening to each other and trying to please each other.

Absolutely this.

An excellent post, maxdancona.
0 Replies
 
dropdead
 
  0  
Reply Sun 23 Jul, 2017 09:55 am
@maxdancona,
You're right lmao I'm just new to all of this **** to be honest
0 Replies
 
dropdead
 
  0  
Reply Sun 23 Jul, 2017 10:50 am
@centrox,
Idk I wasn't scared I just felt bad because I literally stopped having sex & that was it lmaoo. It was so abrupt so I started blowing him but I was still angry so I stopped doing that too
0 Replies
 
dropdead
 
  0  
Reply Sun 23 Jul, 2017 10:51 am
@maxdancona,
What do you mean? The sex itself wasn't bad, I was just angry that he took the condom off and didn't tell me at all, so I stopped it. I felt a little guilty though
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jul, 2017 11:23 am
@dropdead,
If after sex, either person feels angry, guilty or frustrated, it was bad sex (at least as I see it).

Sex is supposed to be fun, and pleasurable for everyone involved.
dropdead
 
  0  
Reply Sun 23 Jul, 2017 12:01 pm
@maxdancona,
Okay I see what you're saying now lmao
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  4  
Reply Sun 23 Jul, 2017 02:19 pm
"I don't know if this guy has STD's & I didn't want to get pregnant so I literally stopped having sex with him lmao."

You want to be a baby-momma with an STD? Just keep up this kind of ignorant sex and you will. See if you will lmao then.
dropdead
 
  0  
Reply Mon 24 Jul, 2017 12:15 am
@PUNKEY,
um did I say something offensive why so angry?
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Mon 24 Jul, 2017 09:04 am
@dropdead,
Because you are so flippant about two important issue: STDs and unwanted pregnancy.

maxdancona
 
  -2  
Reply Mon 24 Jul, 2017 10:11 am
@PUNKEY,
I think you are acting like a jerk Punkey. There is no need for it, and it isn't helpful.

Everyone knows about STDs, and many, if not most, people choose to have unprotected sex anyway. I would suggest to our OP that she should consider using birth control. But, I expect that she already knows this. For the record, condoms are not super effective as a form of birth control, IUDs and hormonal birth control work much better.

There is no need to be nasty, even if you think you have a point to make.

0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Jul, 2017 09:07 am
I love it that I'm often singled out for my remarks because I tell irresponsible people to be more responsible. Especially after seeing such acerbic interactions between other people on this site for much lesser reason!

I'll say it again: unwanted pregnancy and Casual sex with relative strangers need to be confronted. No being a "jerk" about that!

Good bye to A2K. You won't have Punkey to kick around any more!
0 Replies
 
bunnyhabit
 
  0  
Reply Sun 30 Jul, 2017 11:15 am
i would stopped and called police that i was raped. stealthing is considered rape in most countries. get it on record in case you are pregnant now
0 Replies
 
 

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