This one really belongs in the "education" forum

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real
Notes written from parents in a Mississippi School District. (Spellings
have been left intact.)

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him.

2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her
shot.

3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30,
31, 32, and also 33.

4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell
out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
kicked in the growing.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by Very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He
had (diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the sh!ts. [Words were crossed out in the
parenthesis]

12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea
and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping
because I don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to
get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it on Monday, we
thought it was Sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and
could not breed well.

20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.