Boyfriend acts like a brat when I don't want sex

Forums: Sex, Advice, Relationship, Birth, Cesarean
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I've just recently had our hour this child. The first three were normal healthy deliveries. The last was a c section by emergency. Our son is six weeks old now and my c section has split open in a tiny area and very much hurts. I told my boyfriend I wasn't ready to have intercourse yet and he got very angry. He started telling me that if I had the sex life that I have right now, back when we first got together he never would have got with me.. That of course hurts me he proceeded to punch walls slam cupboards and scream at me.. Let me mind u that back when we had a crazy very busy sex life I did catch him watching Porn anyways, and knowing how much that deeply hurt me he did it anyways and I've caught him many times within the past 8 years together. We have four kids under four. Our lives are busy but why can't he understand or even try to accept that I'm not ready.. It's not like I'm choosing not to have sex, I'm not healed yet after our last very recent birth.. He is so selfish and acts like he's entitled to make me have sex or else ill regret not just doing it in order to not have a fight.. Why does he act this way.. Does he respect me? Is he being selfish or am I being selfish?

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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 1,446 • Replies: 9

@Qtpatootie,

I hope you have contacted your doctor about the issue with your incision and your pain.

Four kids under the age of four is enough to get anyone tired. Are you the primary caregiver, or is caregiving shared? If you do all or most of it then I'd say no wonder you're tired. I'm tired just reading that.

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@jespah,

Lol my Dr is on vacation but yes I had to have some more stitches put in. I'm the sole caregiver, I always have been. He works and doesn't lift a finger after his work day is over. So I do have serious resentment for no help, always leaving me with kids to go drinking and away on vacations with his friends twice a summer. And fishing and other hobbies every weekend leaving me with all kids he never wants to hang with me he told me to stop relying on him to hang out n to get my own friends... And I hate him for continuously hurting me by watching pornography knowing I consider it cheating.. I just don't mTter

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@Qtpatootie,

He's terrible. Why are you still with him?

Make sure you get on birth control so no more children are brought into the mix.

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@tibbleinparadise,

I had the iud, the needle the patch the pill etc.. It still happened unfortunately but yes. I have spoke him into getting a visectomy

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@Qtpatootie,

So, your BF and you have 4 kids, been together 8 years, he doesn't want to get married yet wants you to put a good chunk of money into a down payment on a house that will not have your name on it because your credit is not so good and to top it all off, he goes crazy when you don't want sex and hits walls and slams cupboards and screams at you. He does this even though the reason you don't want sex is due to the complication from your recent c-section.

This guy sounds like a real winner. Honestly, I don't know what to tell you. To start, I would suggest that he needs some anger management counseling. You call his actions acting like a brat, but this is just rage. Bratty behavior would be pouting or moping around when you turn him down. What you describe is anger and rage that is only one step away from his striking you.

Maybe suggest to him that the two of you see a counselor and talk about what is going on. Because I find it hard to believe that his anger only recently began. Has he gotten like this before when you would not feel like sex? Or have you always given in to him because you knew he was prone to this type of behavior?

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@Qtpatootie,

Qtpatootie wrote:

Lol my Dr is on vacation but yes I had to have some more stitches put in. I'm the sole caregiver, I always have been. He works and doesn't lift a finger after his work day is over. So I do have serious resentment for no help, always leaving me with kids to go drinking and away on vacations with his friends twice a summer. And fishing and other hobbies every weekend leaving me with all kids he never wants to hang with me he told me to stop relying on him to hang out n to get my own friends... And I hate him for continuously hurting me by watching pornography knowing I consider it cheating.. I just don't mTter

The moral of this story is that bad choices carry negative consequences. Did you not have any better options than this guy? You did have your tubes tied right?

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typical horny boyfriend reaction to a submissive girlfriend. good news is you are his only sexual source or he would not get so mad. did you consider oral or using your hands to get him off. maybe a good compromise if you want to maintain relationship.

he will surely wander soon as has no respect for you. best bet is discussion and compromise. just saying no is not a viable solution.

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@Qtpatootie,

Id fear to be in that kind of relationship. Clearly he's being selfish and inconsiderate not putting your well-being at the top of the list, especially it's a serious medical procedure you just went through. His sex drive may be all over the place but he has to think that you're still in damn pain and literally hurting with the suture fiasco.

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@Qtpatootie,

It is time for you to get smart.

Hide some ketchup near the place you have sex. When he starts, carefully pour some of the ketchup in the scar area and ask him to stop.

When both of you look at the "blood", you tell him that you will go to the bathroom, you are going to clean up the blood, put some bandage, and after that both of you can continue having sex.

Make it real.

There is a big chance that he will see that you are trying to please him but that your body is not ready yet.

Perhaps he quits his sex train for a little while...

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Boyfriend acts like a brat when I don't want sex

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