You can consult your pillow.
Good luck.
i'll let you know what my pillow suggests tomorrow at same time hopefully.
Is this chick getting you anything?
I'm with Soz, a card is more than enough. I don't buy any of my female friends gifts. It's not like you're "screwing" anything up by not getting anything for her.
Roy
Just put yourself in your NEW girlfriends shoes....Would you mind Her giving an old boyfriend a gift?
I believe a nice card would suffice, NOT jewelry, as that is something one would give a lover.
i'm probably being dumb here asking this question...
But isnt it possible for me and her to still remain good mates and buy her a little present as well as a card without people reading too much into it? i know where we stand, and if my gf bought an old bf a present i dont think i'd mind, i trust her.
Roystonius, according to one of your recent threads, where you stand is that you can't stop thinking about her and comparing her to your current gf. :-?
I think this is the kind of thing that will bring that into relief and be likely to cause problems with your current gf.
I think it's very, very possible as a general concept for former lovers to remain or become friends again after a break, but your particular situation has booby traps all over the dang place.
true, before i was always comparing her to my new gf, not now though, i dont look at her in that way anymore,
what would you have me do?
That was just a couple of weeks ago, Roy.
I dunno, I feel preachy here which I don't like. Basically, what we've been advising for a really long time is to stop spending so much mental energy on this girl, and that's what you're doing, still. You've moved on, which is excellent, found a new gf, great, but you are still opening threads about how you compare your current gf to your ex and what to get for your ex. Why is this about what to get her rather than what to get your current gf?
Just seems like the wasting mental energy on her part hasn't eased up enough yet.
Go to the park.
Find a nice tree.
Put the necklace in a little niche in the bark.
Walk away into your new life.
Joe
you think im thinking about her too much instead of just getting the 1st thing that comes into my head as a present 4 her? i can see why you think that. Perhaps, on giving her the present i should tell her and make sure it's meant as a gesture of friendship and not to read anything untoward into it?
Love Joe's advice.
My overriding thing is not what you should and shouldn't give her, but more general than that -- not to spend so much mental energy figuring out what you should or shouldn't give her. If you're gonna spend mental energy, spend it on yourself or your current relationship, not on someone who has already shown she just doesn't care.
Seriously, the point is...why bother?
You don't have to buy her gifts to be a friend. And you're not hurting anything by not giving her gifts.
You're more likely to hurt your friendship by getting her gifts, because SHE might read more into it than you are, and distance herself more.
C'mon man, listen to people who have more experience with this stuff.
i intend to focus my attention on my new gf, it is, after all just a present right! we still care for each other but just as mates. its a lot more easier now too, i can be chatty and talkative to her without the pressure of sex,sex,sex.
well she has been dropping hints about it for a bit so i had to take up the hint really, think she's expecting it anyway slappy i intend to tell her not to read too much into it anyway.
Do you buy birthday gifts for all your male mates?
Did you ask your current girlfriend what you should get your ex?
If your answer to either or both of those questions is no, I'd recommend following Joe Nation's advice.
Argh, the hints thing, Roy that's exactly why she's an ex and why she should be a teeny tiny figure in your rear-view mirror getting teenier all the time. Gawd, hints. This is what you keep talking about, the having her cake and eating it too thing, the lapdog thing, the getting jewelry for her birthday even though she's not actually your girlfriend and hasn't had to do any like work, just drop hints.
There's a tree waiting for you, dude. (Or if you can't stand to just leave it, at least return it to the store...)
she isnt having her cake and eating it but i suppose you might be right about the jewelry. she shouldn't be dropping me any hints if we're just mates should she? unless she thinks i'm a mug!! and i aint!
hmmmm, you don't give gifts to your male mates, you didn't ask your current girlfriend about gift ideas, the ex has been hinting ... ACK !!!
you are a mug.
You're probably a very nice fella, roystonius, but really.
