i have no friends

Of course you can make friends at 26! Nil desperandum! Do you work? What are your interests? Could you enrol on something non-vocational in the evening? I think you are just 'stuck in a moment' it will pass. You could do worse than hang out here - if you've nothing better to do. There's lots of 'funny threads'. Reply to someone......you will get the hang if it.

Don't be

It will get better

Join a club or a team! Rock Climbing, rowing, cycling, chess, books, whatever. There are tons of them. Find people that share your interests. Youre gonna have to spend time with people to form friendships. It'll be awkward at first, but I think you'll be welcomed with open arms.

I'm 42 and I still try to make friends. And, BTW, a lot of the people I was friends with at age 26 are no longer in my life. So, bottom line, this is a life skill that you need to keep practicing.

Work is a great place to meet people - you already have something in common and you already have a reason for speaking together. And the idea of a team is also great, or you could take a class. Again, these are situations where you already have something in common with someone and reasons to speak with them. It's not like walking up to some stranger and saying "Will you be my friend?" That might've worked when you were 4 but of course it's not how things are, now that you're an adult. You have to, as we say, cultivate relationships.

So, let's say you're taking a cooking class. And you're paired up with someone you don't know (this happens a lot, often there isn't enough equipment so students share). Let us also assume that the person you're paired up with is a complete stranger and not the kind of person you'd normally hang out with (e. g. different age and social group). Here's how it can go.
You: Hi, I'm ____. I see we're sharing a stove today. <extend your hand>
Your Partner: I'm ___. <shakes your hand>
You: Okay, let's see what this recipe says, hmm, we have to use the mixer, have you used any of the mixers here yet? I used that one over there last week and it was kind of temperamental. Or maybe that's just me.
Etc. etc. etc. you get the idea.

You are not, per se, making a friend. What you are doing is cultivating an acquaintance. And that's all right, because that's how you get friends. It's very rare that you make real friends (as in, people you can tell all of your problems to) in a short amount of time. More likely, it takes months if not years to develop that sort of intimacy. But these friendships don't come out of nowhere. They come from your pool of acquaintances. So if you have a lot of acquaintances, you have more potential friends.

How do you go to the next level? Simply ask your cooking partner for his or her phone number or email address when the class ends, in order to keep in touch. Then just send a friendly note or make a friendly call about a week afterwards. Make it short and sweet and light, and about whatever you two talked about during class or about something external that relates to that, e. g. I just called to find out how the cake you made for your daughter's confirmation turned out. Or, I just had to email you this article about a new study on trans fatty acids. I wonder how many of those we ate in cooking class! And don't spend more than perhaps 15 minutes on any of that (naturally, if the person didn't give you their phone number or email address, then they've made it clear that they don't want to go to the next level, so forget those people).

Then the ball's in their court. If they want to pursue a friendship, they will make the next move and will call or write back to you. If they don't, then move on. Give them 2 weeks or so (I'd say, 3 now, as people get very busy over the holidays) and then write the whole experience off. If you are contacted after that time period has elapsed, that's great, don't hold a grudge, of course, but the chances of being in contact when that much time has gone by - well, the chances are not great although it's not impossible.

You will need to do this several times before things click, so put yourself in lots of friend-making situations - work, classes, teams, volunteer at your house of worship or political party HQ, hang out at the dog park (only if you have a dog, of course), etc. Volume is what counts here. If you only get into one friend-making situation every decade, then everything is riding on that and it can be hugely disappointing if things don't go to the next level. But if you put yourself into four or five friend-making situations every year, not as much will be riding on any individual acquaintance so you will feel less pressure - which is the way that the most natural types of relationships are born.

This is also a good method for finding a boyfriend or girlfriend and for networking for a job.

I am also 26 years old and am just getting out of a 3 year relationship. So I know how it feels to be out of the scene. Most of my friends are people that I work with. I do have a few friends I have been friends with for years and those are the ones I consider true friends. They are the ones that stick with you through the years, no matter how much distance or relationships come between you. Have you thought about ever joining a gym? You would be amazed at how many people you can meet there. Plus, you are getting yourself healthy at the same time. You are probably just lonely, as I am, and so used to being in a relationship that you just haven't got back into the single life yet. You'll be fine. You're never too old to make new friends. I don't know if you are religious or not but if you are, church is a great way to meet new people. This may sound cheesy, but even try looking in the newspaper to see if there are any social events going on in your town that you might be interested in. You obviously have a big heart and your ex must have seen something great in you to be with you for 4 years, so why wouldn't other people?!

I am 30 and have never had a friend in my life! So look on the bright side, you could be me!

Oh, Aussie...that may have been true in your past, but now that you are here on A2K, I'm sure you'll find many, many friends.

Dear class241

Don't! Don't worry!! There is always bad and good times for any of us. I have been moving from coutry to coutry all the time and every time I go to a new place I don't have any friend. But I always end up with many close friends. The thing you should do is be yourself, and let them accept as who you are. It will take sometime, but you will have your own couple of friends at the end.

However, I don't think it is a good idea to forget about your friends when you are dating someone. Because you don't want to lose two sides at the end.

Let me teach you a little trick I use, and it always work. When you are meeting new people, stay quite and not to talk to much. Always smile and look busy. Oh,Oh, and one more thing, dress well, look well is also important. If you think you look good, you will feel good too. heehee... People will want to know you more if you don't show yourself as a open book. Let them know you a little by little is the best.

Maybe many ppl will not agree with what I am teaching you, but it does work! It is up to you!

Goodluck! Let me know your updates! Cheers

ayoyo i will take your advice on board and let you know how i go

even I at the ripe age of 19 have recently made new friends, I have the utmost faith somewhere, somewhere out there, not especially out there, maybe down the block, possibly in a pub getting hammered, is a person you can grow to call "this chick i know" :`) Of course good friends are harder to come by, but hey, baby steps

Have you noticed that you are similar to all these people going out with different groups that you don't consider your friends?

You seem to be socializing with several groups yourself yet you don't consider them your "friends." What do you expect from a "friend?"
Maybe all these people in the different groups feel they are your friend.

Maybe you are just being negative about your "lack" of friends. See it another way. Hey, just look at all the friends you have, else why are you with them? It's amazing but if and when you become involved in another "relationship" you may see all these people as good "friends." Hang on to them. You're just missing the confidence of that long relationship, when you felt less needy of your friends.

Im 29, all my friends are in relationships, I have no one to go places with.
When I go to my friends for a meal there is usually and odd number at the table.
I dont meet anyone through work.
I cant commit myself to an evening class(too shy or it costs a fortune)
I live with my parents.

I feel like I have no future but I know its just a phase, a very long(about 4 years)phase but just a phase, things can only get better.

Ive recently joined a gym so at least Im going out somewhere different.

I hope you learn to enjoy your own company.I find I sometimes get bored with my own interests but I have to realise i cant expect my close circle of friends to drop everything and be my social secretary.

Just realised none of that helped as im not actually helping you get friends.All i can say is just talk to people, even if its 'can you pass that pencil','do you have the correct time please'.

You would be a good friend material girl. I tried to pm you, but it says i don't qualify for pm status. That is my luck lol

Think I can remember somebody tried to pm me too.
I didnt fill in the introduction/info bit when I joined so no pm email address.Tried to do it earlier but it wont let me,just my luck.

Im intrigued now, I wonder what people want to pm me about.Hope it something nice,eek!

I have no friends either. It's a good thing. F*ck having friends. I just want to be left alone dammit!

Do you mean that or have you got so used to being alone that you just take it?

Sometimes I think id be making a real fool of myself if I say hello to someone I kinda know, but dont usually go out of my way to say hello to.
Id think Id be going over the top but its really just normal behaviour.The person may be glad you said hello, if they dont then its no skin off your nose.

Actually, I am kidding. I do have a couple of friends. But if you think it's bad now, wait until your in your mid-thirties. I have always had just one or two close friends and that's it--just the way I am, I guess. The drawback is if your friends move, then you have to start all over again. Making friends gets much harder as you get older too. But it's not that bad having a scarcity of friends, as long as the one(s) you do have are close.

I used to have one very close friend, but then he started writing "you're" when he should have wrote "your".

I couldn't handle just a blatant grammatical error so I had to terminate our friendship.

I think he's selling shoes in New York City.

But I've heard the son of a bitch has corrected his mistake and I'm willing to call him a friend again.

I'm always doing that to you lately, aren't I Gus? Damn, I'm sorry about that. Maybe I'll just leave my mistakes up their from now on.