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Fri 7 Jul, 2017 07:08 am
hi there. im dating my gf for like 4,5y. we've had our ups and dows, but great in general.
we live together with a roomate (male) for 3years now,
one night 6months ago they went to this faculty party and met them later. i was drunk and stoned and, one moment the night at the disco, me and my grfriend were dancing and a girl went to our roomate to talk and - thats what i can remember and the gut feeling i felt- she went rapidly to them like pushing her ( i remeber it as this). then days later i confronted her and she denied and evenly didnt remember that incident.
Now, our roomate returned from a 1month vacation and while we're on the living room i see her looking a lot to him. is she atracted to him/in love with him?
she says she loves me, and we have plans for the future. im not sure now with this paranoia on my head
thx
@lmlmlm,
Hard to follow wtf you're talking about. I am assuming you are basing all of your suspicions on your girlfriend looking at your roommate.
Stop getting drunk and stoned all the time, and you'll be able to better observe what is going on - and you will probably be less paranoid overall, to boot.
@lmlmlm,
Sobriety is a hell of a drug.
@lmlmlm,
I thought you`d said your room mate was a male? Sorry, I cannot follow this with much certainty. I get the last few lines though. Perhaps she`s having a rotten time with you, what with you being stoned and everything. Perhaps she`s scared to tell you. Perhaps it is she that needs help rather than yourself?
@celebritydiscodave,
my roomate is a male. sorry. not an english speaker. i was stoned that night, she may also been, cant remeber exactly.i dont know...i see her moves around him and i dont know how to react. she needs help about what?
@lmlmlm,
This is confusing. Do you mean that you notice your gf is paying attention to your roommate? And you don't like it? and you want to know what to do?
You say to her:
"Hey _____, I notice that you pay a lot of attention to what ____ is doing. The other night you got upset because he talked to another girl. I see you watch him when he is here. It makes me wonder how you feel about him.
What's up with your feelings about him and me?"
@lmlmlm,
What difference does it make to you, in exacting perceptual detail, if he`s only a mate? You sound as though you might be attempting to exercise too much control. Are you ever in the least bit paranoid over situations which immediately involve you, and are you overly demanding of friendships? We blow gaskets for need of equilibrium in friendships, your parents would, everybody eventually does, even a guy sixty years your senior should, taking it he`s human, but pressing for more than equilibrium indicates that there is a serious and deep rooted issue to be resolved.
@celebritydiscodave,
he is her friend as i am his friend. i'm just mention that i've been seeing this change in her atittude. like once our roomate girlfriend was at our home and she was really histerical and like controlling the environment, speaking louder (which isnt at all her form be presence). not demanding, just realizing this changes, all her body attitude, looks...these are things that u cannot control...in my opinion
@lmlmlm,
I do n`t get it, if in your view you cannot control those behavioral traits pre mentioned how do you suppose that they indicate to something then? If you meant to say can control then I agree with you, that a radical change from any norm in body language indicates to something new on the mind of the participant. What though I have no clue.
@lmlmlm,
lmlmlm wrote:we live together with a roomate (male) for 3years now,
do you and your girlfriend share a flat with another guy?
@ehBeth,
and with another girl. we are students lol
@celebritydiscodave,
she says she loves me and she doesnt fell nothing for our roomate..but her body language..
@lmlmlm,
Word combinations are two a penny, this is true , but be careful, for body language is all too easy to misconstrue. For instance, and I`m 62, I might enjoy the interest shown in me by a fifteen year old, but it does n`t follow from this that you can know that I have any sexual interest. Where one expects there to be a specific nature of interest the body language is processed with prejudicial bias. Prejudice can be both a singular as well collective state. Prejudice is just another word for social ignorance, as I`m sure you are only too well aware.
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