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Thu 6 Jul, 2017 01:38 am
I have a friends with benefits, and we work together. Yes I know "How and why would you do that??".. well let's get started. Ive been working at my job for a year, I had broken up with a fiance 6 months ago and this new guy start's working there. At first its all casual, no flirting. However, one day I was a bit drunk from the night before and I said to him "wow you're gorgeous" & "will you be my boyfriend?" sarcastically but in a serious way. I knew he didn't have a girl friend because he had just recently told me how he was casually dating this chick and she friend-zoned him and now they don't talk so I was in the clear.
He looked a bit shocked though when I made those comments, and that was the end of our platonic friendship. After 2 months of heavy flirting I decided to proposition that we become FWB. I hadn't had any sex in like 7-8 months by then and although we did talk about relationships he never asked me to be his girl. Let me just add that he's a bit overweight and has a bit of a nerdy/hipster look, I'm more of a fit, girly girl. He even told me recently that he thought I was a "goody two shoes" when he first met me. Anyways, we've had sex about 8-9 times now, and we talk at work, we flirt but he's never taken me out on a date. He tells me "take me out sometime?" and I'm like "Wtf? girls dont take guys out on dates?". If he actually liked me he'd make an effort. Ive told him I had feelings for him and Ive told him that I couldn't do the FWB thing because I was getting attached and he said he didn't mind. However, whenever I confess my feelings to him which have been like 3 times he's always said "well, this FWB thing was your idea so you have to stick with it now". This last time we had sex though, he almost said "I love you". He was behind me, sex talking to me and then he said "I love yyy" and stopped himself. So I decided id end our FWB yesterday and he was cool with it. Today he was talking to me at work and a girl passes by and he checks her out and says "dang, whose that? she works here?" as if he didn't know. Either he wants to push me away or get me jealous, either way I have one question for everyone... How do I make this nerdy/hipster my bitch?!?!?! I'm so over this!
@Calculatedbae,
Odds are strongly against this developing into anything more. Especially because you had set the tone and direction of how things progressed and ended. He's indicated his direction. Ignore what he almost said when you were intimate. That was not real. This fling is over.
Lots more fish in the sea.
As a side-note, bad idea to date or have sex with co-workers - unless you don't mind the water-cooler chat and management not taking you seriously.
@Calculatedbae,
Calculatedbae wrote: I decided to proposition that we become FWB.
he never asked me to be his girl.
He even told me recently that he thought I was a "goody two shoes" when he first met me.
he's never taken me out on a date.
If he actually liked me he'd make an effort.
Ive told him that I couldn't do the FWB thing ... and he said he didn't mind.
he's always said "well, this FWB thing was your idea so you have to stick with it now".
So I decided id end our FWB yesterday and he was cool with it.
I'm so over this!
you suggested FWB
that worked for him
it doesn't seem that he's interested in anything else with you
___
if you want more from him, you're going to have to try stepping it up - woo him, ask him out etc
if you can't do that? then move on - he has
@ehBeth,
Thank you, I really needed to hear this.
This guy sounds like he lacks initiative. YOU were the one who developed and controled the situation. He just sat back and let it happen. He cant even muster up a date! Is that good enough for you?
He "loves" the sex, not you.
Stumble It!
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