3
   

Is THIS still considered cheating?

 
 
Lynn87
 
Reply Sat 1 Jul, 2017 10:40 pm
Is it still cheating if you've never met up?

Long story but bare with me lol I'll make it short. Me & an ex dated in 2009. Really hit it off & had great chemistry in every way pretty much. Then broke up & kept getting back together. But after 4 times we just let it go.

Somehow since 2009 we never really lost touch. Here & there we'd pop back up on each other's social media stuff & reconnect.

Now it's 2017. He is currently married. He claims it's an unhappy marriage (typical thing I bet married ppl say) And says that they don't have sex & she doesn't really know who he truly is as a person. Earlier this year said they were headed for divorce & that when the divorce was final we could be together again. Lies lol Sadly I believed him at first the beginning of the year. But now I feel more eyes open like I know better. And I really think that's the typical thing a married person says to someone on the side saying their marriage is heading for divorce or practically over.

What messes with my head the most is how we never fully fell out of touch through all this years. I wonder does that mean anything or just a mere coincidence?

In the beginning of the year when he first tried to have an affair I told him absolutely not would never have an affair with a married man. But idk given our past history & a lot of convincing on his part I sort of got caught up into it. We haven't met up face to face. But we have phone sex, skype sex, sexting with naughty text messages. Is this still considered cheating in an affair even though we haven't physically done anything?
 
roger
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Jul, 2017 10:46 pm
@Lynn87,
I don't know either, but you are both making it easy to move in that direction, aren't you?
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Jul, 2017 11:03 pm
@roger,
You're right Roger, it sounds like a match made in heaven. It's freaking sad so many people are trapped in loveless marriages. My poor brother was married 19 years to a woman who didn't understand him, left her and two children for another women who sadly didn't understand him either so he left her and the other two children after about 'surprise' 18 years and has temporary happiness with another. Infidelity is a great way to enlarge your circle of friends.
Lynn87
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Jul, 2017 12:44 am
@glitterbag,
I'm not sure why he's even still with her. Beginning of the year said their headed for a divorce. Said he was gonna file. Now halfway through the year he says their in counseling. I don't know why he just won't end it once and for all. They've been married barely over a year lol we're still both pretty young. He's 29. I'm 30. Not sure how old the wife is. She looks a bit older. They have no children either so would be a nice clean break. I've asked other ppl's opinion as well they all say sounds like she might be supporting him financially & maybe that's why he's sticking around. I've never asked him. Still it's so sad.
0 Replies
 
Lynn87
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Jul, 2017 12:45 am
@roger,
I guess so.
0 Replies
 
centrox
 
  2  
Reply Sun 2 Jul, 2017 03:06 am
@Lynn87,
Lynn87 wrote:
He is currently married. He claims it's an unhappy marriage (typical thing I bet married ppl say) And says that they don't have sex & she doesn't really know who he truly is as a person.

The classic expression/cliche is "My wife doesn't undertand me". It's so old it's a joke.

Quote:
Earlier this year said they were headed for divorce & that when the divorce was final we could be together again.

Yeah yeah yeah. If the marriage is over, why not end it now? Bullshit.

Quote:
And I really think that's the typical thing a married person says to someone on the side saying their marriage is heading for divorce or practically over.

But they hedge their bet by saying "I'll get divorced next year" or whatever. If they can do it to their current wife they can do it to the next one (that's you).

Quote:
What messes with my head the most is how we never fully fell out of touch through all this years. I wonder does that mean anything or just a mere coincidence?

See above about hedging the bet.

Quote:
I sort of got caught up into it.

I told the judge, "those banknotes just kind of flew out of the cash register into my pocket, it just sort of happened", but he still sent me to jail, the insensitive clod.

Quote:
But we have phone sex, skype sex, sexting with naughty text messages. Is this still considered cheating in an affair even though we haven't physically done anything?

Why not ask his wife how she feels about that?
centrox
 
  2  
Reply Sun 2 Jul, 2017 04:11 am
@centrox,
centrox wrote:
Quote:
But we have phone sex, skype sex, sexting with naughty text messages. Is this still considered cheating in an affair even though we haven't physically done anything?
Why not ask his wife how she feels about that?

Better still, ask yourself how you would feel if you found out he has been doing this with a third woman as well? Or more? He might have a system going. Keep 'em interested with texts, etc, and whatever comes up for a bit of extra mural nookie is his payoff. I don't mean this unkindly, but it could be a bit like phishing, where the operator sends out wildly improbable stories and whoever bites is worth following up.

0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  3  
Reply Mon 3 Jul, 2017 09:30 am
@Lynn87,
The simple answer to your question is yes, it would be considered cheating. At least in my book.

If he wanted you INSTEAD of her, he would go ahead and divorce her rather than telling you that he is going to divorce her at some indefinite future date.

Try this. Tell him once he leaves her and at least files divorce papers, then you'll consider a relationship with him. Until then, stop the nonsense with him.
0 Replies
 
 

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