Should I ask her for a relationship once again?

Forums: Relationship
Email this Topic • Print this Page

So this girl has been really close to me for over 7 years now (since the beginning of my school) and I feel like I'm also really close to her. She did ask me for a relationship back like 5 years ago but then we were just children so we didn't take it seriously and we became friends again. I did ask her throughout the next 3 years about 3 relationship requests which she did reject because she felt like it would be awkward to be in a relationship where we both knew each other for what? 5/6 years at that point? I never thought of that as a problem but she did. I moved to Germany 7 months ago and she asked me a few days ago if I could come to their "school ending" party which I replied with yes of course and then she asked me if I wanted to dance with her at the thing. Currently we're in a brother/sister relationship in which we always help each other with deep problems but I was wondering if I should ask her for a relationship once again even tho I'm pretty sure she still doesn't feel the same as I do. She does mean the whole world to me and even 1 day without chatting with her makes me feel bad. Also we're 15 years old

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 566 • Replies: 7

@Vinjara,

There's no reason why you can't ask her specifically whether the invitation to the dance is meant to be a date, or not. And please listen to and respect her answer. Because if it's no, you might not want to go - and please don't push it if she says no. If she says no, then start to consider the girls in your area. Don't compare them. Just start to get to know them. You might find you prefer one of them anyway. But please don't wait forever. You don't have to.

Basically, you are both rather young and could change your minds at any time. Good friendships are hard to find, and if she doesn't want to change this one, then there's really nothing you can do about it.

0 Replies

@Vinjara,

It seems that she has made her intentions with you pretty clear, you appear to be very much entrenched in "the friend zone".

My best advice is to meet other people and occupy your time with them. It would be really beneficial (for you) to really ease back on the day to day communications. Establish some boundaries and let the FRIENDSHIP exist within those boundaries. Given your attractions and feelings, I would make some definite space between you and your friend while you work out your feels. Again, occupy your time elsewhere.

0 Replies

@Vinjara,

Also, from personal experience, it can be a really positive experience to have a deep and meaningful opposite sex friendship. In your case, just because she's a girl, doesn't mean you need to be in a relationship with her. My best friend is female, she's very attractive, and has many qualities that I would probably look for in a partner. BUT, we are friends. We are both married, we have boundaries, and we have a deep mutual respect for each other.

It IS okay to just be friends with a member of the opposite sex (or same sex if you're gay), it doesn't have to progress onto a deeper relationship.

0 Replies

Thanks for your replies everyone but the friendship thing.
Our friendship is really big however I'm having this feeling when she finds a boyfriend that she'd slowly start forgetting me over time so that's the main reason why I'd like to ask her. I don't want to lose such a dear person in my life.

1 Reply

@Vinjara,

If she is a good friend, the dynamic of your friendship will change, but she won't go anywhere. My best friend is married and we still talk, hang out, etc.

This is why I suggest having other people in your life. It's not realistic to expect that one person can satisfy all of your friendship/relationship requirements. This particular girl is clearly not satisfying your need for a deeper (not just friends) relationship. You should find one that does. You can let your friend be a friend, let her fill that role.

0 Replies

Is she in the same town as you are?

Yes, you can ask her to be more than friends. Tell her you have feelings that are more than friends and ask if she feels the same. She will tell you.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

We used to live in the same town and we were in the same class in school for 7 years until I moved 7 months ago

0 Replies

Should I ask her for a relationship once again?

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know