Fri 21 Apr, 2017 10:18 pm
So I've had a really stressful past 2 weeks... Two really crappy weeks. I think they are making me weak/unsuccessful at my attempts to let go of my ex.
My ex is 1,000+ miles away right now and I haven't stopped wanting him. We text periodically because we have unfinished ends to tie up, so it's basically for business purposes, with some normal convos in between. Every other time we text, though, he volunteers (while we are in the middle of an unrelated conversation) to tell me he doesn't know whether he can be with me again and doesn't want to give me hope. Somehow this doesn't deter my heart at all.
We had amazing/passionate sex a few times after we broke up before he left. But I know sex means nothing, and it was probably a mistake...
I heard a song on the way home today, and it described my feelings for him. 50% of me wants to ask him to listen to it and see what he says. The other half wants to cry to the song until I fall asleep.
It has been 2 months and 11 days since he left me... and I'm still not over losing my best friend. Even though I thought I was. Just last week, I was making plans on how to tie these ends quicker and him out of my life faster because I was so angry at what happened that cause me to lose control. This week, I find myself looking for reasons to text him, looking at our old pictures, reading old journal entries I wrote about him years before we were dating, all while smiling and missing every bit of him. And then crying because I miss him. I've started dating a new guy (who I have been attracted to for years) but not seriously because when I'm with him, I'm thinking about my ex. I can't even kiss this new guy because it physically hurts me inside. He's going to get over me soon I'm sure because of my reservations.
Am I feeling this way because I'm stressed and at a low point recently? Or do am I still grieving?
Should I tell him how I feel? I want him to want me too. I want him back.
(A lot of people would say that he would let me know if he wanted me, but we spent a year texting every day, all the while he was liking me but wouldn't say it. In the situation we just had, it took him months to tell me that he had feelings for me and wanted to be with me.)
But I think I need some cold, hard sense talked into me more than anything.
He's 1000 miles away, he's gone, gonna have to let him go. Don't text with him, don't chat with him, don't tell him how you feel. Wrap it up (strictly business) and move on. It's okay to mourn the loss of a friend or the end of a relationship. Part of the process is acceptance and that needs to be your target right now. Once you get there it will be easier to resolve the feelings of loss.
Two weeks is not enough time to mend a broken heart. So dont jump into the arms of another guy to make yourself feel better. (Not fair to him either)
If this guy loved you he would move heaven and earth to be with you. He hasn't.
That says it all.
That's true. Because I surely would move heaven and earth to be with him right now.
Thank you. I guess I'm pretending to myself that I have accepted it when I really haven't.
Hunny, first off focus on getting yourself back. But you have to try your best to accept that he's gone and move on. Try to keep occupied and to distance yourself from talking to him. You will cry, you will miss him and thats only normal. But if he wanted to tie up those loose ends he would have. It's hard letting go but you have to be strong and know that there is a man out there waiting to shower you with life but you wont get that until you let go and are ready for that. Take a break and get yourself together love Everything's for a reason.
Have you not read the advice given to you on your past threads?
The relationship is long over. Not just a few weeks.
Have someone else take care of tying up the loose ends/business.
Time for you to accept that things are truly over - have been for a while. Leave the poor guy alone.