Sun 16 Apr, 2017 08:14 am
Good people, I would kindly ask for your help.
**It is a pretty long post and I would be extremely thankful for your help.**
So here’s the deal.
I’ve known this girl for 6 months now (we became clasmates in October). At the begining she didn’t show any particular signs of interest, we became friends and she fell in the group of friends I’m now hanging out with outside of the school. (btw, she’s a very outgoing person and always in a good mood).
But for the past month her bahaviour with me kind of changed. So here are some examples:
-she touches my shoulder often
-Once 4 of us were ‘’studying’’ togehter, I went to get coffee, she joined me, then later
-she often leans on my shoulder (e.g. I’m in the position of class sleeping position and she rests on me)
-we also went dancing together(2 of us) to a social dance, not a club(but btw, we have danced together a couple of times as I’ve learned some moves and since she dances really well, so I asked her to practice with me ‘’my new moves’’
-it happened that she exaggeratively laughed at my(not so funny jokes)
Last week our friends celebrated birthdays. She thought of presents, which were basically funny stuff from erotic shop(even the post cards were shaped as penises haha) which really surprised me.
So then, last week our group of friends went to a club.(nor me and her got drunk) Before that we were hanging out at a park. She leaned on me a couple of times and was also excited, that we are gonna dance later in the club(excitingly bumping her hips with mine).
But then me and few other guys came a bit later to the club enterance. She was kind of said because ‘’we came late’’ I guess?
Then in the club as a few of us were dancing together she didn’t really how any signs that she wants to dance with me (no looks, gestures) and I kind of didn’t want to either then, since she is an awesome dancer dancing by her own.
Then she moved to another part of the club and danced there. I later went to the bathroom and then saw her dancing with a guy(random one, from the club). She then went with him to the room of the club where you can chat. That’s where I saw her last that night, as I went home after.
So I’m wondering now, have I fucked up?, what does she want from me? and am I in the friend zone now?
Except for the dance club (BTW, she probably wanted you to ask her to dance), her expressions have all been positive.
How about just asking her out? Yes, she could reject you. That's the chance you take when you put yourself out on the line. However, just wishing and hoping and trying to figure out what she means isn't getting you anywhere, either.
You already know she likes to dance. "Susan (or whatever her name is), do you want to go out dancing?"
Thanks for the answer, I have to say that I'm still a little stiff in the club(regarding asking girls to dance)
I'm just afraid, I fucked up again (as I have in the past, when I didn't make certain moves on girls)
You're fine. Try to relax. The world will not end, and there will be other women, if this one says no.
She probably got the idea that you were "friend-zoning" her by not being more receptive (and acting on) her flirtations.
Guys (I'm a guy) if a girl is flirting with you and you are both available don't get on the internet and ask strangers if she likes you, put on your big boy underwear and ask her out!
Thanks man, I agree, I gotta take action.
And I know rejection sucks and whatnot, but the worst that can happen is she says no. If that happens you smile, thank her for her time, be gracious, and move on. Getting a no doesn't have to be a negative, ego crushing experience.
She likes you or wants to have sex with you. Maybe she was trying to make you a little jealous.
Ok, I'm gonna ask her out tomorrow if I see her in person
Best of luck. Remember, if she declines, it is not the end of the world. Be gracious and polite!
Well ****. Didn't see her in person today, called her, she didn't answer or returned the call. And I won' see her for a week now.
So you think because you called her she's supposed to return your call immediately?
As off the wall and crazy as this sounds, she might just call you back sometime in the next 7 days.
Do not, I repeat DO NOT pester her. You called, she knows you called, (I assume you left some sort of message), leave it alone. Any further action on this from you just comes off as desperate and clingy.
If she wants to talk or hang out she will contact you.
Now you should proceed with life as if she is not there... becuase she isn't.