How can I get him to talk?

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So I have been kind of dating this guy for about a straight month. Things were practically as perfect as can be. He'd be there whenever we made plans and never cancelled on me. Spent Valentine's Day and my birthday together.
We did make out before, but it was small pecks on the lips, so he was still able to hang out with me after.

This last time he kissed me -- he really, really kissed me like "WOW" type kiss...I'm still thinking about it a month after it happened...that's how intense it was.

The next day we hung out after that kiss, he claimed he was tired and wanted to leave early. He never leaves early so I knew something was wrong but I didn't want to ask. Then he deleted me from all social media the day after. That same day he deleted me, I said if he doesn't want to hang out anymore, then tell me. He texted me like nothing happened.

I gave him space for about two weeks or so...he then ended up coming to spots in town to see me again -- places he knew where I would be after we didn't talk for a straight two weeks.

I tried to get him to talk to him what is he thinking about and where does he want this to go but he refuses to say anything about a relationship or dating and he keeps going to places where he knows I'll be to see me.

From this, does it sound like he wants to date me and still be friends? Why won't he talk to me about it? I don't know how to get him to talk.

Every time I ask what is he doing he won't answer me. He just acts like we're friends hanging out even though there's that attraction and tension there. Thanks in advance for any advice/answers on what's going on.

Is it possible that he scared himself with the intensity of the kiss? I'm starting to think that's it because he was able to still hang out with me the first time we made out but it wasn't as intense as this kiss.

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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 1,136 • Replies: 17

[+3] - Krumple - 04/11/2017[quote="girlie"] In case you've forgotten the forum rules, here's a link to remind you that no personal attacks or hate speech is allowed: https://able2know.org/rules/ [/quote]...

YOU say the kiss was WOW!

What do you think he felt? It seems his reaction was HMMM.

Look, if he felt something, he would move heaven and earth to be with you. He would be wooing you and talking to you.

He's not - so let it go. Move on and find someone who feels a WOW with you.

2 Replies

@PUNKEY,

He still goes to places he knows I'll be at to see me so that tells me he does want to talk/hang out, but he won't say anything to me about what happened.

He did go out of his way to woo me even after but he won't talk about it. He pretends like nothing happened and that we're still hanging out but with other people around. We don't hang out alone anymore.

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@PUNKEY,

And I knew he felt something, too, because I told him don't ever kiss me like that again if he's just going to get cold feet after. I should also mention he's 22 and he's 9 years younger than me. We've kissed before and were still able to hang out after, but the first few kisses were alright -- we had been hiking for two hours and were tired so of course it was meh, then, but this second time it was WOW and we were relaxed in the car after I dropped him off from a nice evening of hanging out.

1 Reply

@girlie,

You're 31 years old?

Riiight. Rolling Eyes

4 Replies

@chai2,

Not sure what you're trying to imply from my post. I didn't ask what you thought about me as a person because you don't know **** about me. I just asked for what I can do to have this work. Don't give more than what you're asked...speaking of age, how old are you with the snark? Doesn't seem like you're very mature yourself. Smile

1 Reply

@chai2,

By the way, an adult would actually answer the OP, and not go off-topic, but I assume, I'm dealing with a barely starting college student or you must still be in high school yourself, right? You don't seem very mature. I always laugh whenever people type with snark on the Internet, as if you think you have some superiority complex or something just because you're hiding behind the computer. Do you think you're mature?

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@chai2,

Also, not sure where you came to the conclusion that I'm "immature" in my post, just because I was seeing a 22-year-old? He may be immature, doesn't mean I am. I'm trying to see what prompted you to type with snark, but I can't seem to see anything that would set you off like that. Looking to get a rise out of people I assume with your nonsense post.

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@chai2,

I hope you aren't the spokesman for the forum. Way to introduce the forum with snark when this is my first post. Hopefully as I browse here more, you're only the 1% snark here. Left too many forums due to **** starters like you who have a hard time actually answering the topic at hand because you think you're a tough keyboard warrior.

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@girlie,

Bejeeeebus!
Go away!
Lucky bastard hope he gets as far from you as possible. You're a bitch!

2 Replies

@Fil Albuquerque,

I'd love for you to explain your comment? You don't know me and I've given no indication of me being a "bitch."

Nah, he's actually the luckiest guy any guy can be.
I think you're trolling.

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@Fil Albuquerque,

In case you've forgotten the forum rules, here's a link to remind you that no personal attacks or hate speech is allowed:

https://able2know.org/rules/

2 Replies

@girlie,

girlie wrote:

In case you've forgotten the forum rules, here's a link to remind you that no personal attacks or hate speech is allowed:

https://able2know.org/rules/

Girlie just relax a bit. That's how Fil says hi. Hes actually a pretty intelligent poster.

You see we get certain new members from time to time that shotgun post and bait in and never respond.

Your age came up because the innocents behind your question. No offense but it's a bit naive sounding. And you are shotgun posting so you aren't taken serious.

Maybe your age is throwing him off a little? Intimidated or wondering why you are still single? He might be confused as how to proceed?

He goes to see you then doesn't engage. Or maybe you are too aggressive for him?

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@girlie,

Hey kiddo get the frack off my face. No patience for tards like you, get it?
I don't give a flying frack bout "sanitizing team" either. When and if they get tired of me I will preach somewhere else, no problemo. So far your contribution to this forum was utter crap. When you come back with something of value other then your umbilical little cosmos I might consider reading you. By the way how the frack should we know when you're the person closer to this guy n don't have a clue? Judging by your interactions so far I can't say I am suprised...was it me I would be miles from someone with such a conflictive nature. You are insecure and go on the offensive pot shooting everyone to hide it off. Any other day I would let it slide, today I just don't have the patience for babysitting! Have a nice life!

PS - Krumple was to gentle I am as dumb as they come. Now go back to your genial echo chamber. I am sure mom n dad love ya as you are.

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@girlie,

Just get it going for some time....maybe he had some family problems, study/job related issues or other girls try adding them to your equation...

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@girlie,

Just making a guess here, but I'm going to assume he has other options on the side that are in flux so, while he wants to keep you open as an option, he doesn't want to "put all his eggs in one basket" quite yet.

Other possibilities include he's in a relationship already, was testing the waters with you, and wasn't completely sold enough to break off what he already has.

Or he may have guy friends that are giving him **** about dating a 31 year old.

Or (just judging from your posts here) your strong personality was/is a little overwhelming for him and he's just not sure what to do with it.

I'd recommend backing off. Guys definitely don't like to feel forced, so putting any sort of pressure will just shut him down. He will come around or he won't and if you decide you are tired of waiting then gracefully move on.

1 Reply

@tibbleinparadise,

I have to be direct with him since he wasn't being honest about what he really wants with me. He said he wanted to be just friends, then the next day he cuddles and kisses me. He can't say one thing then do something different and expect me to be happy about that. I don't think there's anyone else in the picture because when we were hanging out, he'd only be tagging pics with me and I don't see any other girl he has tagged pictures with.

I honestly think that on our dates, he was talking to someone about me because he'd go off to check his phone and then do something cute to me when he would come back, lol. Some of his friends might be giving him **** I'm sure, and half the others might be telling him to go for it, the one he gets advice from when he checks his phone telling him what to do on our dates, lmao.

1 Reply

@girlie,

"He said he wanted to be just friends, then the next day he cuddles and kisses me . . .say one thing then do something different . . ."

Yup - Sounds like a 22 year old. (raised two and grandson - (ages 47, 28 and 21)

You need someone a bit more mature. He's just not ready for the commitment and the seriousness.

0 Replies

How can I get him to talk?

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