I think we'll just be getting cake...
patiodog wrote:I thought we had Dorothy Park 'er car 'round back.
I believe her spirit visits from time to time...
Dorthy Parker
the ceiling of a bedroom
Daily dawns another day
I must up, to make my way
though I dress and drink and eat
Move my fingers and my feet
Learn a little, here and there
Weep and laugh and sweet and sweat
hear a song, or watch a stage
Leave some words upon a page
Claim a foe, or hail a friend
bed awaits me at the end
though I go in pride and strenght
I'll come back to bed at length
though I walk in blinded woe
back to bed i'm bound to go
high my heart, or bowed my head
all my days but lead to bed
up, and out, and on; and then
ever back to bed again
Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall
I'm a fool to rise at all.
Then there's:
Some witticisms attributed to Dorthy Parker (1893-1967) American writer - Classic literature:
"It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends."
On learning that Calvin Coolidge was dead she remarked, "How could they tell?"
"Are you Dorothy Parker?" a guest at a party inquired. "Yes, do you mind?"
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
In a book review: "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown aside with great force."
In 1925, Harold Ross was struggling to keep The New Yorker magazine alive with a tiny, inexperienced staff and an office with one typewriter. Running into Dorothy, Ross said, "I thought you were coming into the office to write a piece last week. What happened?" Dorothy replied, "Somebody was using the pencil."
"I can't write five words but that I change seven."
"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
After four I'm under my host!"
In the street once Dorothy approached a taxi. "I'm engaged," the cabbie said. "Then be happy," she told him.
Wasn't the Yale prom wonderful? "If all the girls in attendance were laid end to end," she said, "I wouldn't be at all surprised."
"Look at him, a rhinestone in the rough."
"Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart."
"You know, that woman speaks 18 languages, and she can't say "no" in any of them."
"His body has gone to his head."
In a 1933 review of the play "The Lake" starring Katherine Hepburn:"Miss Hepburn runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."
"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
Of the play "The House Beautiful": "The House Beautiful is The Play Lousy."
In a New Yorker review of A.A. Milne's "House at Pooh Corner": "Tonstant weader fwowed up."
Another book review: "He is beyond question a writer of power; and his power lies in his ability to make sex so thoroughly, graphically and aggressively unattractive that one is fairly shaken to ponder how little one has been missing."
For her own epitaph: "Excuse my dust.
Dear Deb,
I spilt liquid metailizer on one of my legs, will my leg rot away or turn to steel?
BX
I thought this thread was dead . . . and deservedly so . . .
It's alive, Igor, it's alive ! ! !
Brand X wrote:Dear Deb,
I spilt liquid metailizer on one of my legs, will my leg rot away or turn to steel?
BX
You'll RUST!!!!! Get OIL!!~!!
Dearest Deb,
why are some undergrads so unbelievably stupid? so many inconsistencies in their stories. how can one girl go through bad food poisoning - so bad that she can't come to class on tuesday and thursday (having a rash that cannot be exposed to sun), and then claims without batting an eyelash that she sent the term paper in on friday (when they were due), but couldn't check her email to see if i got it, because she was away in new hampshire researching for another class. what? can't expose her skin to the day of light on thursday evening, but can leave for 3 full days on friday? i am so furious, but not sure how to tell her straight to her face that she is a stinking liar. any ideas of what i can do to her? i am counting on your creativity. mine has expired along with the last of my nerves.
I think I've got it, if I may. The rabbit lacks the necessary tact and diplomacy for the task.
So, whatever deb says, you shall say to the girl: "You are a stinking liar. A filthy, roitten, stinking liar, who belongs at the bottom of the compost heap with the rest of the rancid fish heads. Oh, and where did you get those shoes?!?!"
can't pull that off. i think the fiercest thing to leave my mouth would be: your story is not very consistent. i will need a doctor's note to excuse your absences...
i am sure she'll be chewing on that for awhile! that'll crush her flat!
I suspect she will just turn to doctorsnotes.com
That's a spectacular idea, bern. Have you got a trademark on that, or can anybody use it?
i hope she's not sophisticated enough. she is trying the pity trip and the guilt trip combined on me. grrr. should i hang her by her toes in the class today? after all, i need to set a precedent here.
dog
Take it away, I'm already wealthy enough to buy fancy Italian shoes and fritter away my life typing to the likes of you (as workable a definition of affluence as one might imagine).
dag
Let me inform you right up front that I have a degree in education. Toe-hanging is likely not your best option, though it has the advantage of producing internal mental states of high pleasuritude, and in addition provides access to spilled change handy for parking meters and laundromats. Also, though it may appeal more to me than to yourself, there's the panty-viewing thing.
I'm figuring that you probably ought to tell her that as she comes to you cap in hand after not meeting a deadline, and as that is not terribly uncommon in undergraduate scholarship, and that as each professor and TA faces the burden of adjudicating each 'justification' and that hers has some problems as regards consistency, you have a limited range of options. Then penalize her if you remain convinced she's lying through her tongue piercings. Play it straight and judicially.
