Hurting others makes me feel good

Once a lady told me, you hurt people and that makes you feel good.

It took me some time to abstract the emotions I had for this girl, and realize how true her statement was.

You see, hurting others, gives you control and power over them, and only a significant weak person will execute that kind of emotional manipulation to others.

I've spent a good period of my life, where I couldn't do otherwise, hurting others and especially people that I was supposedly in love with, it was my only tactic, and it was the only thing I could do to survive with all the other bad feelings I had, like possessiveness, jealousy, envy.

What I realized is, it takes a lot of effort to learn how to let go. I wasn't educated like that. I thought that if I wanted something, I have to ask for it, steal it, take it in any way possible, regardless the risk or the cost. I didn't know what "let go" is. My ego was my guide. And when you let ego drive your life, you can only hurt people.

If you dear reader, recognize that kind of behavior to yourself, I have to advise you something. Let it go, forgive. Forgive and accept yourself, first of all, really accept yourself, make peace with him. It all starts with us. If you are not good with yourself, you won't be with others as well.

Don't hurt anyone. They eventually leave, and you will be all by yourself, but you are not the victim here. They didn't leave you, you show them the door. When you hurt like I did, just to feel ok about yourself, at some point you will realize, what a small, pathetic, little human being you are.

We can do better!