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I gave up on my dream to live abroad, but my boyfriend has been encouraging me to go. What do I do?

 
 
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 06:57 pm
I used to have this huge desire to live abroad, but after I fell in love with my boyfriend I lost all the enthusiasm to go. He always thought the idea was cool and encouraged me to go, so after i told him I didn’t want to go anymore he was very confused.
He himself can relate with me because he followed his dream to come live abroad and left everything behind, including his own partner at the time. His story was that, after one year living here he ended up falling in love with someone else (me) and breaking up with her, creating a big big mess, which is not relevant for this. I love him, and I truly believe he loves me back, otherwise he wouldn’t go through that break up drama. I think he understands me, because he went through the same, so he encourages me to go, but everytime he says it it breaks my heart. I can’t stand the idea of leaving him and it seems he doesn’t even care we are apart, which I think it’s not the case. I get very confused with this, I don’t know if I’m going the wrong direction. Also if we end up breaking up in the future for some reason I don’t want to blame him for giving up on my dream. I just want him to ask me to stay, instead of leaving, if that makes sense.
What do I do? Should I talk with him about this? I don’t know if he will understand or if he will feel pressured, so I’m scared.
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Eady
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 07:51 pm
@namichan,
Go and see the world now regardless of your romantic attachments. Even for a visit. It gets less easy when you have children, a mortgage, elderly parents etc.
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momoends
 
  0  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 10:44 pm
@namichan,
option 1: he truly loves you and wants you to live your dream even though it would mean being away from you a whole year and the risk to be left cause you find somebody new during that exciting experience.... so you should go and follow your dream cause he will be there waiting for you
option 2: he doesn´t love you anymore and wants you to follow your dream expecting your relationship to end as a consecuence of that (or he feels guilty to keep you from having an experience he already enjoyed when he doesn´t love you that much) .... soooooo you shouldn´t sacrifice what is that important to you to somebody that doesn´t apreciate you at all.....
(if you want him to tell you: i couldn´t stand one day without seeing you and hearing that is a valid reason for you to change your goals in life, let me tell you: nobody is worth that much... life changes all and i can tell you living abroad was awesome when you get to experience freely.... i still feel somehow sad when i looked back and i realize my erasmus year was clouded by a boyfriend
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momoends
 
  0  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 10:44 pm
@namichan,
option 1: he truly loves you and wants you to live your dream even though it would mean being away from you a whole year and the risk to be left cause you find somebody new during that exciting experience.... so you should go and follow your dream cause he will be there waiting for you
option 2: he doesn´t love you anymore and wants you to follow your dream expecting your relationship to end as a consecuence of that (or he feels guilty to keep you from having an experience he already enjoyed when he doesn´t love you that much) .... soooooo you shouldn´t sacrifice what is that important to you to somebody that doesn´t apreciate you at all.....
(if you want him to tell you: i couldn´t stand one day without seeing you and hearing that is a valid reason for you to change your goals in life, let me tell you: nobody is worth that much... life changes all and i can tell you living abroad was awesome when you get to experience freely.... i still feel somehow sad when i looked back and i realize my erasmus year was clouded by a boyfriend
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Thu 23 Mar, 2017 06:44 am
Go and do your life dream.

With technology the way it is, you will be able to stay in contact with each other, but you really need to let him go so you can be "let go."

Love is strong, but this urge to make your dream come true should be even stronger. As you get older, you will see this as true. (Regret is an awful feeling.)
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