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Pending heartbreak

 
 
Reply Mon 20 Mar, 2017 02:15 am
So this is a messy one but please bare with me.

I've fallen in love with a man I can't be with and I know I need to cut my ties with him..

In a nutshell... we became friends while we were both in relationships. I ended up single. He ended up engaged. And our friendship grew. For a long time he would vent about his relationship troubles to me which led to a really strong connect between us. We both developed feeling for each other and because he wasn't available I put some serious distance between us.

He knows I'm in love with him and had said he loves me as well. He has said repeatedly he doesn't see the marriage lasting and that he isn't happy but that he feels obligated to go through with it because it's to late to call off. He has had the cheek to actually say he thinks eventually we will end up together. He says he is torn between what we could be, and the stability of what he has.

Anyway.. I feel like I'm being strung along. Like he wants to have both. Like I'm being used in a way.. almost like an outlet..

That being said I've decided that if he goes through with this, and Marrys her, I need to cut all ties. Block him. Maybe even move..

I'm right aren't I? If he had any respect for me (let alone love) he wouldnt go through with the wedding?

I feel so ridiculous. We haven't even kissed but I really do feel like my heart is about to be broken. I feel so stupid.
 
roger
 
  5  
Reply Mon 20 Mar, 2017 02:31 am
@Ashytaylor,
Yes, you are absolutely right. I've never heard of a case in which someone was planning a marriage that wasn't expected to work and is already working on a backup plan. Whether he marries or not, you don't need any association with that kind of mental situation.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  4  
Reply Mon 20 Mar, 2017 06:19 am
@Ashytaylor,
I'm with Roger on this one. This is absolutely idiotic. It is not unheard of for a couple to call off a wedding at any time. Even within weeks of the wedding. This guy is already planning on cheating on his future wife (because if he isn't willing to call off the wedding for you, why would he even consider divorcing her for you?)

You need to cut all communication with this jerk. And that is what he is being right now, a jerk. Even if he suddenly decides to cancel the wedding, why would you even consider a relationship with him based on his actions here? Run from him and run fast. You can do better.
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ehBeth
 
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Reply Mon 20 Mar, 2017 09:42 am
@Ashytaylor,
Ashytaylor wrote:
Anyway.. I feel like I'm being strung along. Like he wants to have both. Like I'm being used in a way.. almost like an outlet..

That being said I've decided that if he goes through with this, and Marrys her, I need to cut all ties. Block him. Maybe even move..


yes you are being strung along - yes you are an outlet

why you're not breaking things off now baffles me - he has moved from dating another woman to asking another woman to marry him to planning a wedding with another woman and you think he's interested in you as more than someone to ****? it's baffling.

time for you to consider why you have so little respect for yourself and start making adult plans for yourself on your own.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Mar, 2017 11:55 am
Oh, how CRUEL this guy is to lead you on, flirt with you - only to announce he is to be married!!

His story about his flawed marriage is just another way of him stringing you along. I wonder if you are the only girl he is doing this with.

Cut if off and wish him well.

Don't you deserve better than this cruelty?
0 Replies
 
 

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