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Sun 5 Mar, 2017 10:07 am
1-) In life, we should have certain words filtered, my boyfriend does not seem to have one.I am upset because, he has this tendency of referring to woman as bi***es, ”oh tha b*tch does this or that, in a very despotic way, he does not say this ALL the time, but once he does, it just bothers me, makes me mad. Why in the world, would a man refer to a woman like this, its so disgusting! sounds like he dislikes all woman!
2-) Whenever I’m in positive vibes, he seems to suck my good vibe away ( they call this an ”emotional vampire”) once he comes and picks me up, whenever I get in his car uuugh, he always says something that bothers me, example:”your breath smells like mint,I don’t like mint, or your perfume is too strong”, instead of greating me nicely, boom he says something that’s not nice. Believe me I rather have good breath, than not a stinky one and my scent is not overpowering, it’s just a clean cologne.
3-) He thinks women should be submissive to get what they want from there partner!, and whenever I was quiet he said '' You see,it's so nice that you are quiet like that. its relaxing.
4-) Whenever he can, he points out something negative ( He did not do it in a mean or shouting way by any means) but he said:''your butt, you need to do squats to tone it, your too skinny its not healthy, you need to gain at least 5 pounds, I tell him ”I love myself like this” if you don’t like it, then I’m sorry, and all he says is, ”well your going to stay alone” your too skinny, honestly even he was worried, I like how I look, plus I'm not scary skinny.
5-) This one is the one that I notice the most, when I am looking pretty, have my hair down flowing, cutely dressed, well put,etc, he will say something negative, ”what happened to your hair, it looks thin, whats wrong’, your butt is sagging you need to tone it up, Not even a compliment, Mind you none of these are true to my knowledge, my hair is medium thickness, and my butt, is a little smaller after I lost weight, but not sagging, just Normal.
6-) I feel, as if Everything has to be on his terms, I feel ackward having to communicate with him or even have a serious talk to him, these 3 years I have just felt uncomfortable, that’s how I see it, can you imagine we only see each other once a week, or once every 2 weeks.We don't even manage to see each other on the weekends Like normal couples do!. I get he studies Medicine and its HARD, but If you really want someone you make more time for them!!!!!
Anyways, I feel drained, mentally and emotionally by his ways. its Like if I felt empty. I Need more from him, which I AM not GETTING.
@jenny-00,
Sounds like you've already made up your mind. What difference would the opinion of strangers make? But for what it's worth, you're not happy, he won't change, so yes, leave.
@jenny-00,
He sounds like a jerk.
Why are you hanging around at all?
@jespah,
Sorry, but I couldn't resist this quote.
That's a very sexist way to talk about these bitches!
Ali G (Sasha Baron Cohen)
@jenny-00,
LOL!! He is a waste of time, air and space and has very low self-esteem. I have had a couple of these in the long past. Dump him.
As has been said... he sounds like a jerk ... why are you hanging around at all? He is a waste of time, air and space and has very low self-esteem. ... Dump him.
Absolutely.
@jenny-00,
Sounds like someone read 'The Rules of the Game', where the term 'negging' came from. On a somewhat separate note, 'Emotional Vampires' is also a book, on dealing with manipulative people.
My only question would by: why would you choose to stay with someone like that - the postives will never outweigh the (results of the) long term destruction such behaviour would wreak on your self esteem. Short term gain for
long term pain?
@jenny-00,
jenny-00 wrote:
1-) In life, we should have certain words filtered, my boyfriend does not seem to have one.I am upset because, he has this tendency of referring to woman as bi***es, ”oh tha b*tch does this or that, in a very despotic way, he does not say this ALL the time, but once he does, it just bothers me, makes me mad. Why in the world, would a man refer to a woman like this, its so disgusting! sounds like he dislikes all woman!
2-) Whenever I’m in positive vibes, he seems to suck my good vibe away ( they call this an ”emotional vampire”) once he comes and picks me up, whenever I get in his car uuugh, he always says something that bothers me, example:”your breath smells like mint,I don’t like mint, or your perfume is too strong”, instead of greating me nicely, boom he says something that’s not nice. Believe me I rather have good breath, than not a stinky one and my scent is not overpowering, it’s just a clean cologne.
3-) He thinks women should be submissive to get what they want from there partner!, and whenever I was quiet he said '' You see,it's so nice that you are quiet like that. its relaxing.
4-) Whenever he can, he points out something negative ( He did not do it in a mean or shouting way by any means) but he said:''your butt, you need to do squats to tone it, your too skinny its not healthy, you need to gain at least 5 pounds, I tell him ”I love myself like this” if you don’t like it, then I’m sorry, and all he says is, ”well your going to stay alone” your too skinny, honestly even he was worried, I like how I look, plus I'm not scary skinny.
5-) This one is the one that I notice the most, when I am looking pretty, have my hair down flowing, cutely dressed, well put,etc, he will say something negative, ”what happened to your hair, it looks thin, whats wrong’, your butt is sagging you need to tone it up, Not even a compliment, Mind you none of these are true to my knowledge, my hair is medium thickness, and my butt, is a little smaller after I lost weight, but not sagging, just Normal.
6-) I feel, as if Everything has to be on his terms, I feel ackward having to communicate with him or even have a serious talk to him, these 3 years I have just felt uncomfortable, that’s how I see it, can you imagine we only see each other once a week, or once every 2 weeks.We don't even manage to see each other on the weekends Like normal couples do!. I get he studies Medicine and its HARD, but If you really want someone you make more time for them!!!!!
Anyways, I feel drained, mentally and emotionally by his ways. its Like if I felt empty. I Need more from him, which I AM not GETTING.
I personally would never put myself through this. Romantic relationships in my opinion should build you up, not tear you down. If you marry him it will only get worse. I feel bad for women whom put up with this kind of behavior because they either fear being alone or don't think they deserve better.
I vote run. Let this guy realize he will be the one alone for his badgering attitude.
@Krumple,
The reasons I remained in this for 3 years was #1 I am too good sometimes to see the evil, in less words I did not recognized this as being emotional abuse, I Perceived it more as his personality or him being bitter or stress about his hard career, But I also lived a lie cause I did see red flags, and ignored them cause I just persist in foolishness to be in this relationship, .
Also in my mind since he did not scream or shout nasty words, everything he said was in a normal tone, he never hit me or controled me , That's another reason I did not see it as ''emotional abuse'' I also found out he has ADHD. it was so many things mixed together.
@jenny-00,
Whatever the reasons, put them aside and get out before you start to believe the toxic junk he is telling you.
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