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Ex Won't Leave me Alone

 
 
Kaldia
 
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 03:33 pm
Hi everyone - I'm looking for advice...

My ex broke up with me over 2.5 years ago, he was cheating - I caught him -and he dumped me. After that he talked me into staying friends with him for about a year or so after....

Long story short I realize that my self esteem while dating him and while being talked into being a friend was very low...and then I met a new guy who made me feel like a new person! I realized that I could no longer keep ties with my ex as he was a bad person in my life....so I told him very firmly that I did not wish to continue being in contact. I was very honest with what I said and in no way was I rude. Just firm.

He backed off for about 3 months...then the texts and calls started up again. About every other day I will receive 3 or 4 calls from him. I finally told him that I was going to block him because he could not respect my wishes, and to not attempt contact again. I did....then I started receiving 3 or 4 calls from an Unknown ID. He leaves messages acting like I never said any of this to him.

I also receive emails from him saying that he is "concerned" about me and that my "Friends are leading me astray" and that we should "grab coffee".... Its upsetting me so much. I ignored every message for a about 6 months....but when he left me a message saying he was moving near where I lived I caved in and emailed him that I now consider this harassment and that any further contact after this will be documented and handed to authorities.

So my question is....should I actually contact authorities? I feel like it isn't enough for me to open a case but I jut don't know how to make him leave me alone!! I mean he broke it off with me to begin with and now he just won't let me be!!

Any advice would be helpful Sad Sad
 
CalamityJane
 
  3  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 04:00 pm
@Kaldia,
You should have blocked his phone number a long time ago.
Go try to change your phone number and your email and he'll be history.

Make copies of all phone messages and all emails and should he come
physically near you, then you can call police. In the meantime be proactive
and erase him from all your phones, emails and social media.

Good luck!
centrox
 
  3  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 04:01 pm
@Kaldia,
Kaldia wrote:
So my question is....should I actually contact authorities?

Yes.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 04:43 pm
@Kaldia,
  1. Call the cops.
  2. Block him.
  3. Change the locks at your home (just in case you may have given him a key and forgot you did).

0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  4  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 07:13 pm
Very importantly, you must not respond to any of his attempts to communicate with you.

That means never respond...not ever, never.

No matter how inticing, how he may push your buttons or prompt any human emotion. No matter how many times he attempts to contact you in any way, shape or form.

If you are still communicating with him, stop immediately. No need to tell him you are stopping. In fact, that will make it worse.

If he attempts to engage you 10,000 times, and you respond to him on the 10,001st time, he will think "Great! All I have to do is call/text/etc her 10,000's and she'll respond.

Since you did contact him, you are now back at square one. He is stalking you and stalkers pay no attention to restraining orders, police interference etc. If you marry, he will text/call or show up while you're on your honeymoon.
litawhatnot
 
  2  
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 08:46 am
@Kaldia,
yes call the police and get a restraining order.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  3  
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 12:18 pm
@Kaldia,
Calamity Jane said it best. Change your phone number. Change your email. Change your locks. Then forget about him. If he starts showing up in places you frequent, then you should talk to the police to find out your options. DO NOT ever contact him again in any way. DO NOT respond to him in any way.

Good luck.
0 Replies
 
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 03:09 pm
@Kaldia,
Tell him you went out with a guy a month back and are pregnant and you got tested for STDs and have one.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 03:30 pm
@Krumple,
Unfortunately that won't stop him
0 Replies
 
Kaldia
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 04:55 pm
@CalamityJane,
Thanks Calamity -yes you are right, I should have blocked him long ago....I was a but of a pushoever up until now...I'm only just trying to take the reigns of my life and do what I need to do to be happy and stop feeling like I owe others things. But yes..changing my number is a step closer to being a new me!
0 Replies
 
Kaldia
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 04:56 pm
@chai2,
Thanks Chai...

Yes I immediately realized my mistake once i pressed send...and it's been haunting me. But whats done is done...I will change my number and move on. Thankfully I've already moved from where he knows I live..though it's close by...but since I live in NYC its probably not that likely we will run into each other. I sincerely hope.
0 Replies
 
Kaldia
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 04:58 pm
Thank you everyone.....I'm going to change my number after work and hopefully will move on in life and not see him again. I live in a large city and he's pretty dumb with the internet...so there's at least that hope....
0 Replies
 
 

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