Women are more emotionally intelligent than men.

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If a man cried in front of his mates, it would be socially unacceptable and make his friends feel uncomfortable.

Not always. In certain situations (losing sports matches, funerals etc.) it is considered normal.

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I also think women are tougher than men. Women have to deal with a lot more **** than men, not only reasonably rare occurances like childbirth but also being marginalised/objectified and the dual burden of work and childcare (although the latter is changing). Women communicate better with others, so they tend to take longer to fold than men. Ironically, being able (and allowed) to cry and talk about your feelings is an excellent coping mechanism. Men tend to treat women like they are fluffy lil wabbits but the irony is that (in general) women cope much, much better than they do.

"The dual burden of work and childcare"? Don't men work (on average a lot more than women)? Don't men have children too? Women could argue that more child-raising is done by the mother, but that's a simple fact of the human being. It does not justify classing fathers as second-class parents. A divorced mother is far more likely to get custody than a divorced father. In Ireland, where I live, there are 120,000 single-parent (mother) families and just 20,000 single-parent (father) families. (I know that a fair number of these mothers were abandoned by their child(ren)'s father, but bear in mind also that there are widowed fathers included too, meaning that evn fewer divorced fathers got custody.

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As a general trend, i think (with perhaps less evidence than i should get) that women experience more hardship than men

What? Please explain.

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I don't think that men and women are equal. That doesn't mean that one is "better" than the other, but it does mean that we shouldn't expect the same behavior from each. Most men react differently to emotional situations than most women, and most women react differently than most men. I don't think there is an argument there.

I do think that most people have the underlying opinion that women are better with relationships, mostly since they really seem to be more interested in how people interact with each other. I would agree with some of the earlier members, who contend that men feel the same emotions, only that they are far more subtle about expressing them. Also, the guys that I know do not enjoy or even tolerate gossip. I suppose that just as with everything, both men and women bring something different to the table which helps both out.

All that said... I would argue that older men are fundamentally different than younger men, and I think the same goes for young/old women. I think as we get older, men and women move toward a meeting point of emotional expressiveness. Am I way off base Question

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right on
your right women and men are not equal in this since and generally men and women do react differently to situations. i think also that you are right about the meeting point that mena nd wmone move towards as they age. I think that women mature by realzing what it is they really want and mne mature by stating clearly what they have laways wanted. when it comes to real relationships men are generally more subtle and women are more direct in that they want dependablilty and meaning.

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right on
your right women and men are not equal in this since and generally men and women do react differently to situations. i think also that you are right about the meeting point that mena nd wmone move towards as they age. I think that women mature by realzing what it is they really want and mne mature by stating clearly what they have laways wanted. when it comes to real relationships men are generally more subtle and women are more direct in that they want dependablilty and meaning.

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This is what i think....

this woman or men are more emotional intelligent is kind of off, i mean how do you define "intelligence" in emotion?!?!

How can anyone talk for every woman or man out there? Are some woman more intelligent in this or that? I don't know. I don't know every woman or man, and I can't transport my brain frequencies into theirs to really see how they think deep down. I don't know their pasts or how they grew up or what influenced each and every one of them.

Are we hardwired? I believe we are in a sense, but I also believe that influences during our life can alter that hardwiring, if their is any.

Are women promoted or propagandized to be more emotional creatures, then okay, yah. However, who's to say some guys wasn't raised by their 4 sisters on cheesy emotional movies, and he won't turn out as emotionally sensitive as Richard Simmons when they grow up?

Are woman more emotional intelligent? HUH??!! Now if you said if they are just more emotional, without attaching the "intelligent" part, then I'd agree, atleast from what women "show" out in the open.

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I almost agree, chris56789, with an added slant:

If society strongly encourages and rewards one person to display their emotions,
and discourages and harshly punishes another person to show them,
then which person is more emotional?
Is it their nature, or the way we treat them?

The first person is allowed to flow lightly and quickly through a variety of communicated emotions,
varying in each moment. What type of emotional intelligence does this train?

The other sits with and accumulates a variety of emotions inside,
dwells on them all day or all week, as they are not permitted to be shown,
and is trained to control and direct them, in order to conceal and harness them.

The first person is richly supported,
but the second person learns to richly defend.

The first person is visible.
The second person is invisible.
Is it their nature, or the way we observe them?

Watching both types of people, we could superficially judge them very differently, according to
- their external behavior
- our prejudice and expectations and
- all the "rationalizing" we use to justify our own support/criticism of them.
Is it their nature, or the way we judge them?

But if we can somehow let that go, and look at how the two people actually are on the inside,
which one has more experience, literacy, and deep intelligence regarding their emotions?

Is anyone here a musician?

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CodeBorg wrote:

I almost agree, chris56789, with an added slant:

If society strongly encourages and rewards one person to display their emotions,
and discourages and harshly punishes another person to show them,
then which person is more emotional?
Is it their nature, or the way we treat them?

The first person is allowed to flow lightly and quickly through a variety of communicated emotions,
varying in each moment. What type of emotional intelligence does this train?

The other sits with and accumulates a variety of emotions inside,
dwells on them all day or all week, as they are not permitted to be shown,
and is trained to control and direct them, in order to conceal and harness them.

The first person is richly supported,
but the second person learns to richly defend.

The first person is visible.
The second person is invisible.
Is it their nature, or the way we observe them?

Watching both types of people, we could superficially judge them very differently, according to
- their external behavior
- our prejudice and expectations and
- all the "rationalizing" we use to justify our own support/criticism of them.
Is it their nature, or the way we judge them?

But if we can somehow let that go, and look at how the two people actually are on the inside,
which one has more experience, literacy, and deep intelligence regarding their emotions?

Is anyone here a musician?

I would say to all the questions you posted, I would "not" pick nature in any of those.

The hardwire part comes in is the nurturing part of the female, that's about it. Girls got breasts with milk feeding nipples for babies to suck on and along with that comes the already equipped function, which is a part of nurturing her baby that guys don't have. And even women being equipped with a vagina to become pregnant, their is also that emotional nurturing during pregnancy that guys will never know how it feels.

Even monthly periods of women can get them all emotionally unstabled, and it's built in them already. Guys don't have to go through that.

Besides the female being hardwired with its reproductive system, that men don't have, I can't think of anything else hardwired for one side or the other to be natural. Everything else becomes personal experiences, perceptions and how each feels individually.

PS: I'm not a musician, but I want to be a comedian.

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I would be careful to determine which aspects of people are hardwired. We are finding more and more that a very few things are only nature or only nurture.

Try this on for size.
Emotional intelligence: The ability to articulate complicated emotions to another using any form of verbal or otherwise expressive communication.

Does this change anyone's argument to define it like this? I would argue that a good measure of any kind of intelligence (at least on the surface) is a person's ability to articulate their thoughts to others. {What good is intelligence if no one can understand your genius?}

In this sense, I think that most women are more gifted in this area, for a number of reasons including genes, society, etc. I don't think that they have a greater range of emotions or a larger emotional response, but I do think that they convey their emotions more readily than do most men.

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fredjones wrote:

I don't think that they have a greater range of emotions or a larger emotional response, but I do think that they convey their emotions more readily than do most men.

Does that mean they can fake it more readily, too?

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Chris: I don't know, I hadn't considered that. And even though I don't think you're kidding, your avatar looks so happy I can't help but grin. Very Happy

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chris56789 -
Women have female organs and hormones that influence their emotional makeup.
Men have male organs and hormones that influence their emotional makeup.
Both are VERY influential, and both have their own emotional qualities, no?

Aggressive or passive. Outgoing or ingoing. Task-oriented or perception-oriented.
Different qualities, yes, but who's to say how much
- quantity of inner emotion or
- how richly intermingled, textured, and aware they are, or
- how easily they recognize and move through the emotions, or
- how effectively they apply the emotions to real-world situations, within their unique context?

Each of those are very different things. Is any scale possible on ANY of them?

fredjones -
In your model, using communication as the criteria:

1) Are deaf-mutes therefore stupid? No communication = no intelligence?

2) Is it the emotional Speaker or Listener who is more intelligent?
If a quiet person is accutely aware and understanding of a whole room full
of people, and what everyone is feeling, are they emotionally UNintelligent?

3) If a married couple shares a lot of experiences together, they can
convey a HUGE amount of meaning in just a glance or a single word.
Does that mean they are more intelligent with each other, but less
intelligent when they (emotionally) communicate with someone else?

All -
Do you have to be consciously deliberate to be emotionally intelligent?
Is a dog emotionally intelligent, if it lives every moment vivaciously and reactively,
in the moment? Experiencing and sharing every nuance of each emotion it feels?

-CB-

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CB: I think that communication is very important in determining emotional intelligence, as it is in any measure of intelligence. A deaf-mute may use sign language, for instance. But if someone were completely incapable of communication of any kind I think that a measure of his intelligence would suffer as a result. Therefore since we cannot directly probe the brain as yet to determine intelligence, communication is the most reliable guide that we have.

Remember, with the silent person, and the married couple, my hypothesis only takes into account their ability. I don't think that staying quiet makes you any more or less intelligent, but if you suddenly become incapable of expressing your intelligence (ex: brain damage), I think you have essentially become less intelligent. Also, with the married couple, being able to communicate with a glance implies that they understand the meaning of what they are communicating. What I am saying is that although they can use a sort of emotional shorthand, they could in fact explain it to someone else.

The dog example illustrates my point perfectly. The dog could for all we know experience the exact same emotions that we do. In fact, for the sake of argument, say that he does. I would contend that it is the dog's lack of awareness of his emotions that separates him from the emotionally intelligent. That line of reasoning is the same that I use to analyze women and men. Men and women experience the same (let's say) amount of emotional response, but it is the reaction which determines emotional intelligence. Women I think react in a way that is more aware and otherwise intelligent than men. Men have the capacity, I just think that they trust rational thoughts more than emotional ones and therefore are not used to vocalizing emotions.

By the way, I'm just having fun thinking about this. I hope I'm not being too frustrating. :wink:

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As long as I'm going...

As far as generalizations go:
We all admit that there is no such thing as a true general rule. No one is the same as anyone else, and categorizing people is difficult unless some form of simplification is involved. Therefore, in order to understand people, we must ignore the exceptions for the sake of argument. Any time we talk about any kind of intelligence we are delving into murky waters, but I don't think we should ignore our thoughts on the issue just because it doesn't apply to all people all of the time. We are just trying to find a hypothesis that fits most people most of the time.

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... thinking it through IS fun! :-) Not frustrating at all.

Some of the most intelligent people I've known ... their mind goes someplace where nobody else understands.
So the communication level drops severely, just because others can't keep up. When the communication falls, does that mean the person became less intelligent, or that their peers became less intelligent?

Does blending in with your peers, or functioning well with a particular group ... indicate high intelligence?

And the dog ... HOW can we tell? Perhaps the dog is an absolute genius, and like the Dalai Lama chooses to live in the moment, apparently without much effort or thought, but actually relishing and deeply appreciating each moment, fully awake, richly aware and just going with it.

It's not a bad life ... napping, eating, simple pleasures ... dogs seem pretty smart!

G'night...
-CB-

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right on
your right women and men are not equal in this since
and generally men and women do react differently to
situations. i think also that you are right about the
meeting point that mena nd wmone move towards as they
age. I think that women mature by realzing what it is
they really want and mne mature by stating clearly
what they have laways wanted. when it comes to real
relationships men are generally more subtle and women
are more direct in that they want dependablilty and
meaning.

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"mena nd wmone"

great phrase rush

nowkn waht umene

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Women are more emotionally intelligent than men.

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