Women are more emotionally intelligent than men.

Nothing is going to be true for all women or all men. Stop this train of thought while you're ahead.

You're naive.

Women are more intelligent emotionally? Then why is it many women can't even explain what it is they want themselves?

However, it's true for the most part women sleep with men based on emotion, while men sleep with women based on pure physical. One theory is it's the way we're hardwired. Women biologically are looking for a mate/protector, and men look to breed. A woman can only bear one child every 9 months or so while a man can impregnate many women at the same time. That could be why men are so visually stimulated while the bitches are stimulated by emotion: security, power, money, ect.

Which goes into the way I feel about the dating life/meeting people: what women are attracted to vs. men, ect, and why "nice guys" finish last. But I've written this kind of stuff numerous times here and am getting sick of sounding like a broken record

I wouldn't agree that a woman has to be in love with a man to go to bed with him. I will agree that sexual attraction for women seems to be more mental than men.

Yes, and water is liquid.

Most women are more in touch with a variety of their feelings than men and are more able to express them. I don't know if this is genetical or learned. Men are taught to express mostly their anger, to keep things for themselves and to keep control. If you want to be in control, being empathetic is not what you need, giving too much is not what suits you best.

All this said, I don't know why the fact that most -not all- women need some emotional attachment to have sex and many -but maybe not even most- men are willing to have sex with any fair looking woman, means, automatically, that women have more emotional intelligence.
I personally need emotional attachment, but I don't think that makes me more intelligent emotionally.

You need to define "emotional intelligence." Otherwise you just sound silly.

What you describe doesn't sound like emotional intelligence to me. In fact, emotional intelligence is a rather awkward combination of what should be entirely independant (albeit, possibly conflicting) concepts.

I think Rufio said all that is to say about the question.

Which women and which men? Both women and men go off on swan dives emotionally. Women are just more verbally expressive. Some women are more controlled, some men are more controlled.

A friend of mine who is a therapist is all for the primacy of emotion, and I am in the camp of taking the measure of emotion, not by its volume, but by some kernal of value that the less expressive person may feel as well. I don't happen to think emotion adds to decision making in one direction or another, it obfuscates. Sometimes this is only seen way way later.

On the other hand, I might just die from emotion myself, and am not against it, per se.

I just don't think it gets to win by virtue of histrionic angst, or even quiet martyrdom.

I realize even these opinions have political weight but that is not a point of my typing them.

As to women and men, the topic at hand, pfooooey.

Women are certainly not more emotionally intelligent than men, or vice versa. More conversant, perhaps - I admit I perceive some men less able to articulate feelings and some women more in touch with some feelings.

And which of them is analytically observing? Members of both sexes, I think.

There are lots of off the wall females and males out there, shall we set them all up in arenas to fight?

I find 'emotional intelligence' almost the contrary to what's been used as in this thread.

For me, the 'have sex without emotions' person would be smart, as he/she wouldn't get hurt if anything goes wrong with the relationship. He/she might not get the best part of a relationship, but doesn't lose anything and gains the pleasure physical encounter.

About the gender thing, I go with the first rufio statement.

rufio , JoeFX , ossobuco,val:
I think your positions on this obviously controversial thesis is the one I also
prefer, and would appear to be the most realistic
approach.

SlappyDooHou:
Not much emotional intelligence
in your reference to "the bitches"........almost confirms the possible validity of the thesis itself.

SCoates:
The definition of "emotional intelligence" can best be given by reference to
Daniel Goleman explanations in his book "Emotionial Intelligence"....among which the following statements are most relevant....."empathy,understanding other peoples
feelings and concerns ...are the key.." "Intelligence has cognitive and emotional components" "The factt that the thinking brain
grew from the emotional,reveals much about the relationship of thought to feeling: there was an emotional brain long before there was a rational one."

I think both genders are brought up believing this pre-concieved notion that men are pigs and will have sex with any women that he can. But this gives boys while they're growing up into young men somewhat of a ticket to sleep around, instead of looking for a long relationship. Also, if a man is with his group of buddies and is in love with one woman and only one woman, the way he acts could give his freinds a reason to belittle him about being "whipped".The truth is there is an equal amount of 'emotional inteligence' in both sexes. Women are more vocal about it because they've been brought up thinking they're supposed to be one way, and men are supposed to think another. It's equal.

at the risk of repeating myself; any understanding of the 'nature' of biology, in all its bizarre colours, and feathers, must begin with a glimpse at our savage past.

The problem with our internal 'motor control' when engaging in all aspects of the daily 'dance of life', is that it is based upon our needs as they existed in the environment of the distant past.

Unfortunately we 'do' what we 'did', in a visceral, unthinking way; behaving in a manner that served us for millenia in the distant past, but which threatens to render us obsolete, in a world which demands that we reinvent ourselves to meet the challenges of a new self defined existence.

[the sexuality of the human being, when divested of its rote historic ballast, is a blank canvas on which the undefined potential of both male and female is infinite.]

If we are supposed to be talking about EQ here we are way off. As for the visual/emotional stimuli, I'm with slappy.

women are 'men with curves'!

[and i love them!]

men are 'women with baggage'!

[and it makes me uncomfortable ]

I have to disagree. What do you say to a prostitute? There are certainly no emotions there.

depending upon the 'relationship', you might say "thankyou"!; or perhaps
"how can i help you?"

That's a pretty naive and grim look at prostitutes, who are often forced into the trade due to bad circumstances or addiction. If you really think there is no emotion beyond that cold, business-like exterior, you are wrong. I think this is why some men visit prostitutes, so they can have sex with someone that they can shut out psychologically. They aren't human, just a vessel with skin.

and it belies a complete missunderstanding of the true nature of sexual relationships!