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Boyfriend hurts me physically for fun, likes to watch gore: Should I be worried?

 
 
hanna95
 
Reply Fri 3 Feb, 2017 08:46 pm
I have recently entered a relationship with a guy who is smart, good-looking and has a great personality. We are both in our 20's. He gets along with people great and everyone who meets him loves him. I sometimes wonder about the things he says or does though. I'll just dive into it:

He has mentioned a couple of times that he was cruel to animals when he was a child. It is of course in the past, but I have heard that this is not necessarily a good sign when it comes to future behavior.

He has shown me a website where he likes to watch gore. That is, disturbing and real images and videos of people's heads blown off, serious injury, bloody and messy executions etc. He says he watches it because it is fascinating to him to see how to body works, but I think it's a little scary that he doesn't seem to care that he is watching real people suffer like that. He either shows no reaction to it or comments on how many hits of the axe it took before the foot came off or similar. He seems rather disattached to other people's feelings in other parts of his life too, but luckily he seems to care about mine.

What complicates things a little is that I am a masochist sexually, so I enjoy some pain in bed. He says he does not get turned on by hurting me and that he's not a sadist sexually. Still, he does do sadistic things to me in bed, which I have interpreted as an attempt to please me. He sometimes slaps me across the face hard "just for fun" outside of bed, which I thought was him just blurring out the lines between sex and our normal mode. It has bruised my face before (not that it matters, but it speaks of how hard he slaps).

Today he got out a scissor and cut me with it (using it like a knife) with no relation to sex. He was unsatisfied with the scissor because it was not that sharp, so he had to go over the same area of my skin with it again and was disappointed it did not draw more blood than it did. It hurt quite a lot and I told him that. I found this act rather surprising as it was so separate from sex and as I have been very open about what I like and dislike, he knew from before that it was something I would not enjoy. I get the feeling that he enjoys hurting me, but in a non-sexual way.

I guess I just wish to understand why he is like this. I assume I have nothing to worry about in regards to abuse as he has not acted aggressively in anger before, nor have I ever even seen him angry. Do any of you know what might make him interested in these kinds of things? Please help me understand him Smile
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Fri 3 Feb, 2017 08:57 pm
You think this isn't abuse?

Honey, these little cuts and scrapes are only going to get permanent, and soon.

When is he going to shove that scissors into your eye to see how quickly and neatly it removes your eye? Because that is coming.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  7  
Reply Fri 3 Feb, 2017 10:04 pm
I don't get it. You like pain and humiliation but only if its connected to sexual activity. He does painful and humiliation things outside the bedroom and you are perplexed.

You cant have it both ways. He has no boundaries and your restrictions on kinky behavior is something he cant honor.

This guy is unhinged . Get away from him asap.

Be careful who you ask to fulfill your masochistic urges.
0 Replies
 
nacredambition
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Feb, 2017 01:33 am
@hanna95,
If you like pain with your increased probability of death by misadventure for breakfast he's your man.

Quote:
I guess I just wish to understand why he is like this.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy
0 Replies
 
centrox
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Feb, 2017 08:37 am
@hanna95,
hanna95 wrote:
He sometimes slaps me across the face hard "just for fun" ... Today he got out a scissor and cut me with it (using it like a knife) ... I get the feeling that he enjoys hurting me, but in a non-sexual way.


Run! Now! As fast as you can, and don't leave a forwarding address! You are mad to stay.

Quote:
I assume I have nothing to worry about in regards to abuse as he has not acted aggressively in anger before, nor have I ever even seen him angry. Do any of you know what might make him interested in these kinds of things? Please help me understand him


When people assume, it is said, they sometimes make an "ass" out of "you" and "me". This is liable to make a corpse or hospital case out of you. You don't even have the threshold of anger to watch out for and pussyfoot to avoid. He does it in cold blood. He is a psychpath.
centrox
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Feb, 2017 09:13 am
@centrox,
centrox wrote:
He is a psychpath.

That's psychopath.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Sat 4 Feb, 2017 09:40 am
One thing to add - there is such a thing as a loving s/m relationship, where the parties use a safe word and they honor it. And once sexual play and activity are over, they don't act in a harmful manner toward each other.

That is not what this is. This guy has no boundaries and, I am sure, would ignore any safe word just for his own personal kicks.

Get out yesterday. Please.
0 Replies
 
TomTomBinks
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Feb, 2017 10:29 am
@hanna95,
Quote:
It has bruised my face before (not that it matters, but it speaks of how hard he slaps).

Hanna, why doesn't it matter?
Krumple
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 4 Feb, 2017 06:35 pm
@hanna95,
Somethin tells me this post is male cow feces.

You let him cut you with dull scissors? You know he was pondering stabbing you with them and wondering how many cuts it would take to remove your head with them.
0 Replies
 
RABEL222
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Feb, 2017 11:13 pm
I hope you get out before we all read about you in the news papers.
ossobucotemp
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Feb, 2017 11:55 pm
@TomTomBinks,
I get it that some enjoy pain with sex, a matter I don't understand, that I gather is not entirely uncommon, but this situation is past that.

You are dealing with a baboon. Are you trying to have him kill you for fun?

Worried? Get away from him as fast as you can.
0 Replies
 
hanna95
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Feb, 2017 08:42 am
@hanna95,
Thnk you for your comments and your concern. The thing is, I am 100% sure he would stop if I asked him to. I just never said stop during any of this because I havent minded that much. Pain is temporary and I don't really care unless it's too much pain or it becomes permanent, in which I would say stop or red (our safeword). I honestly could not see him not stopping then. He never did anything painful or concerning towards me before I made him aware of my masochistic side, he wouldn't do these things if I said no. To address one of the comments, I am well aware that it is possible to be in a loving and caring Dom/sub or Master/slave relationship as I have been in several. We are a vanilla couple as he does not identify as a Dominant.

I do not think he fullfills the requirements to be a psychopath as some of you suggest. He seems to genuinely care about me, and after accidentally hurting his friend at a party, he was remorseful and uncomfortable even just thinking about hurting him on accident. I don't think an actual psychopath would do that.

So for me, this question is more me voicing my curiosity about why he would like to do these things if not for sexual pleasure or similar. Is it normal to be fascinated by gore? He told me one of his best friends also likes to watch it sometimes, so is it a guy's thing? I don't think he necessarily has to be a psychopath or dangerous just because he is curious about inflicting pain. I just wish to know more.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sun 5 Feb, 2017 09:02 am
@hanna95,
He hits you for fun. He's tortured animals. He cut you to see what would happen.

I'm not a doctor and I can't diagnose the guy, but you might want to check out this page: http://www.wikihow.com/Identify-a-Psychopath

And maybe talk to your own doctor about what is going on. Talk about your relationship and what happens. Let someone in on the facts who is in your area.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Feb, 2017 10:01 am
@RABEL222,
RABEL222 wrote:

I hope you get out before we all read about you in the news papers.

This, too.
0 Replies
 
saab
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Feb, 2017 10:35 am
http://edition.cnn.com/video/world/2010/08/04/abawi.bibi.image.cnn.640x360.jpg
Her nose and ears were cut off........
0 Replies
 
ZoeRob222
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Feb, 2017 05:31 am
You should breakup with your boyfriend. That isn't normal.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Tue 7 Feb, 2017 03:39 pm
"So for me, this question is more me voicing my curiosity about why he would like to do these things if not for sexual pleasure or similar. Is it normal to be fascinated by gore? He told me one of his best friends also likes to watch it sometimes, so is it a guy's thing? I don't think he necessarily has to be a psychopath or dangerous just because he is curious about inflicting pain. I just wish to know more. "

You're not getting it, are you?

This guy does not know the BOUNDARIES between just watching and then acting it out - ON YOU. And because you like a little fun, safe, masochism, you are surprised and wonder why he doesn't respect those boundaries.

I repeat: THIS guy is not whom you should trust as a partner for your little games. He gets off on hurting animals and people - really hurting them.

And he likes to watch it too. If fact he is probably going to start acting out these moves on you. They will escalate because he needs more sexual stimulation . That's how he gets off. Even right now, he's not on the same level as you and your "games." Hence the slapping you around. That's his idea of "foreplay."

So you have been warned. Let us know the next time he crosses the line - IF you are able to.
0 Replies
 
hunyul
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2017 12:22 am
@hanna95,
Your boyfriend is incredibly strange and needs psychiatric help. I think most of us have seen gory images or vids on google out of curiosity however usually it stops there - well it does for me at least.

He is also abusive, physically and emotionally too. Please do get out of this relationship quickly and safely. I'm genuinely worried for your well being.
0 Replies
 
SinLeviathan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2017 12:23 am
@hanna95,
I'd say just leave before you're to attached.
0 Replies
 
teenspirit98
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Feb, 2017 04:11 pm
@hanna95,
It is strange for sure, I would consider talking with him.
Mabey he thinks it's okay or whatever since you have not yet told him that you are uncomfortable with it.
Anyway sorry for the lack of help but this is the only thing that is on my mind atm Smile
0 Replies
 
 

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