pls help

Can I ask a simple question...I grew up with narcissistic parents..pretty much raised my sisters on my own but they were abusive and narcasistic although provided what we needed clothes good etc but emotionally. They don't have a good marriage and have what I call a love less marriage. I met a guy recently who was amazing, kind. Living. Really loved me for me. Made me feel special. Always made me believe in myself. I found myself feeling anxious and panicky , scared and sabotaged the relationship . Can't understand this...is it normal to do this ???? Has anyone else experience of this...why do this ?? Help me understand