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He loves me or loves me not

 
 
Reply Thu 12 Jan, 2017 04:16 am
How do I know if he realy loves me or not? We met some 14years ago in our college days. He was then in a relationship with my best friend. Eventually they broke up their relationship and my best friend got married to someone else. For a couple of years we stayed in touch through social networking sites. Last year we planned a tour & we have been physical there. After a few months again we planned a trip. We spent a good time there. He never told me that he has feelings for me. But its my sixth sense that indicates he loves me. How would I be confirmed? We dont chat/text everyday as he seems very busy in his profession. But when we chat over phone it almost exceeds 1hour. He said that he likes to spend time with me. He forgot my birthdate. After reminding him he beg apologize a hundred times and promised me a treat. He doesnt want me to marry someone else. But he always uses this phrase that "WE ARE FRIENDS". This makes me real confused. What does he actualy want from me?only A long term physical relationship without committment or he wants me to approach first for love? There is no clue for me. I am puzzled. I love him. Because all I want is his happiness. If he says he doesnt love me its only time pass for him, I will gladly accept that but I just want to know whats going in his mind.
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Thu 12 Jan, 2017 08:54 am
This man is hesitant to commit. Why?

Is it his job? Too busy for anyone to be in his life? Are you sure he doesn't have a few girls on the side? Do you need to be more near him (I am assuming this is a LD relationship)

He is putting all the restrictions on YOU - so you can't find another man. That's not fair to you IF you want to move this to something more.

Ask him where you two are going. If he keeps with the "We are Friends" talk, then make your decision whether or not you should move on and find another love. Let him know you are moving on because you need more. See what he does.
Shreej43
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Jan, 2017 06:59 pm
@PUNKEY,
Thank you Punkey for understanding my problem & giving valuable suggestion.

Im not sure if he is dating other women as well. It seems LD relationship though we live in the same city. He says he is too busy in his job that he cant give time to anyone. Once he said that he will never marry in his life. One thing that puts me in dilemna that he begs apologize every time even though he didnt make any mistake. Its like he doesnt want to loose me. And he is very much caring for me. He listens & notices every detail of me carefully. I can say him that im moving on. But im afraid of loosing him completely. Is there any other trick to read his mind?
FOUND SOUL
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Jan, 2017 07:06 pm
@Shreej43,
I think his career is his love and that he has fear of commitment, maybe your girlfriend he really did love and he can't get over she married someone else.

Perhaps you even remind him of those days, I hope not, as to the reason he sees you.

But, if he has said you are "friends" and he has "no intention of every marrying" take those words as gospel because they came from his moutn.

He may be a "nice" guy you know? Hey, so sorry, please forgive me, I don't treat people wrongly and didn't meant to forget".

He can not expect you to sit back, take his call, once in a blue moon because he is too busy, expect you to sit back and not marry anyone, because he will never marry you, expect you to sit back, because he works a lot and has no time.

It's nice to feel wanted and to feel something, often called love, yet love is two people that just want to be together and can't wait to do so, be it in person, phone or anytime. You surely don't wish to live like this forever?

He may also be very lonely and like everyone has needs. That conversation you provide to him, as he is alone. He needs.

This is a friendship with some benefits .

Keep it that way and find your love of your live.

You can not read peoples minds unless you are a witch like me Smile

What they say is the truth.

Playing a game as in " i'm moving on" to seek a reaction is childish.

If you wish to you can be honest. I actually have feelings for you, how about we give this a proper go.

See what response you get.

If still "Friend?" move on. Keep a friendship only.
Shreej43
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Jan, 2017 07:31 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
He has already stated those words to me that you may be lonely in your life. You must need a man who loves you,cares for you. But he doesnt want to be that man I think. Yeah you are quite right that we can call our relationship a friendship with benefits.
Sometimes he also seeks me to take care of him. May be he is confused about his feelings for me or he is thinking this is not the right time to go into a commitment?
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Jan, 2017 07:49 pm
"At least he's being honest. He sounds like he's a "confirmed bachelor" i.e. NEVER gonna get married, out of the question, don't expect it.

So there you are: either accept the crumbs he gives you or let him go and go look for the entire cake elsewhere!

But don't expect him to be something he just is not willing to be: husband and father and best friend. He just has decided that he can't be emotionally available to anyone else.
Shreej43
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Jan, 2017 08:10 pm
@PUNKEY,
Yes... right you are 👍
0 Replies
 
 

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