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I don't know how to bring a fetish up with a partner

 
 
Thorium
 
Reply Thu 5 Jan, 2017 05:24 pm
I'm a 25 year old male who has never been in a relationship before. The reason for this is that I have always been self conscious about a fetish I have and never knew how I would ever tell a partner about it. Basically my fetish involves thongs/g strings. I don't wear them but if a partner wears them I feel a huge amount of arousal. I've never understood why but it's been that way since puberty for me and I've always felt sort of weird about it. I've never quite been sure how I would bring it up with a partner because I've always felt they would think I am shallow for having this super particular turn on. I also should mention that some types of lingerie like a thong and thigh high stockings also leads to massive arousal. Due to being sub consciously embarrassed about this I have avoided relationships altogether. I'm not sure what to do at this point.
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Thu 5 Jan, 2017 05:29 pm
@Thorium,
Have a relationship. Worry about the sex later.
0 Replies
 
McGentrix
 
  4  
Reply Thu 5 Jan, 2017 05:36 pm
On the scale of fetish's from potato to OMG! you are way, WAY on the potato side. I doubt any partner you'd have would be opposed to helping with your particular fetish.

Now, if your fetish was eating whole pickles from between the toes of large Irish women while wearing a diaper, then you might have problems.
0 Replies
 
Bitwise Dream
 
  2  
Reply Thu 5 Jan, 2017 07:21 pm
@Thorium,
You're completely normal, I assure you. People have different triggers for sexual arousal, and I have a fair feeling that most people can't explain why those triggers exist. They just do.

In regards to your never being in a relationship before, do you think sharing your fetish is required to be in a relationship? Your fetish isn't something you have to share with your partner since, from my perspective, a relationship is built mostly on companionship, trust, and commitment. As @jespah mentioned, the sex comes later (unless you're searching for a sexual relationship).

It's okay to feel weird about your fetish. Similar to you, I feel abashed by my obsession with women's feet. The thing is, no one's in your head. No one will look at you and randomly know that you like thongs and lingerie. If you really want to share your fetish, if your partner's wearing a thong and the situation calls for it, you could simply say "I like the way you look in a thong." In that way, you're not necessarily saying you're madly obsessed with thongs as much as complimenting how they look in it.

But again, sex typically comes later. If you start to date someone who you know respects you and cares about your feelings, then you'd have a more open space to share your fetish. If you both comfortably build the foundation of being sexual with one another first, then you could start to share that piece of yourself. Until then, you don't really need to divulge your dark secret Smile.
Thorium
 
  1  
Reply Thu 5 Jan, 2017 07:33 pm
@Bitwise Dream,
I see what you are saying Bitwise. I would need to be able to trust them because it is a core part of my sexuality. I'm just not sure if people in general have trigger or specific turn ons I've always wondered that
Bitwise Dream
 
  1  
Reply Thu 5 Jan, 2017 07:44 pm
@Thorium,
I think most people have specific turn ons. I'm sure there are some people on the spectrum who don't experience sexual arousal for whatever reasons I can't explain. I think it's as commonplace as being interested by the sight of certain foods, feeling affection for certain cute animals, liking a color, etc. The only difference is that this particular interest falls in the realm of sex, which is commonly treated as taboo or not fit for conversation in the public domain.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 5 Jan, 2017 08:19 pm
Seriously?

You think being aroused by thongs and stockings is unusual?

I'm a woman, and if a partner said (and has said to me) I really like stockings and thongs (in more graphic words), it is totally no big deal, and very ordinary.



nacredambition
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 6 Jan, 2017 12:48 am
@chai2,
Later, your chat could be even more scintillating than the stockings and thongs.

Although I have to admit that I'm a little hot and bothered that I may be "no big deal".

Thorium , don't go into meltdown, be cool.
0 Replies
 
timur
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jan, 2017 04:50 am
nacredambition wrote:
Thorium , don't go into meltdown, be cool.

I heard some guys go nuclear about it..
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Jan, 2017 11:42 am
@Thorium,
I wouldn't be the slightest bit worried about that fetish. That's pretty normal actually. I don't think it's something you need to bring up right away... once you're in a relationship and get to that point just have the "what turns you on" conversation because she'll have her things that get her going as well.
0 Replies
 
danderson
 
  1  
Reply Fri 13 Jan, 2017 09:31 am
@Thorium,
unexpecdetly tell her about it while having a dinner
0 Replies
 
 

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