Being suspicious of my girlfriend.

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Hello everyone,

So as the title says, i'm starting to get a bit suspicious of my gf. I've never had this feeling before untill maybe 2-3 months ago. We've been together for 4 years. And we both still live at our parents house.

At the moment, my parents are on vacation for 5 months. And i have the house for myself. Because of this i assumed my gf would stay with me most of the time. It's nearly the same distance to her work from my parents place as it is from hers. But she actually still goes home most of the time. Occasionally she will come a day in the week but it's really only in the weekends that i see her. Maybe i'm just being stupid and she just likes to be home. But it still kinda bothers me in a way. Why wouldn't she want to stay with me ? We have the house for ourselves...
Another thing is when she comes over friday. She's always very late. Her work stops at 4pm but i don't see her untill 10-11pm. She never really explains herself about this unless i ask something. She'll tell me she fell asleep. Which could be possible i suppose.

So should i be concerned about these things ? I'm not really sure. But another thing happened today which did make me pretty concerned...

Today she came to visit me (around 8pm) for a little while after she came home from work . We had some little snacks and watched tv. When she was about to leave i realized she still had her working clothes on (she works at the customs). I immediately started to wonder why she would still have those on. She was home for 4 hours. She's a very tidy and neat woman that likes everything clean. So why did she not change her clothes ? Again this bothered me quite a bit. Did she actually go home ?

I asked her if she worked the late shift later on facebook. Cause i thought maybe i was wrong and she was coming to me straight from work. She asked "Why ?" I told her about the working clothes and she said : " Oh no, i just didn't take them off yet". The conversation sort of ended there exept for wishing goodnight.

All of this started to make me think that she might be hanging around with another guy. And i just get this feeling in my guts somethings wrong.

I really need some other opinions on this cause it's hard to figure it out myself. Am i being to paranoid ? Or do you guys think something else might be going on ?

Sorry for the long text, and thanks for reading.

Greets.

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 642 • Replies: 10

@Afella,

Do you also work?

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

I haven't for the last 3 months. But i'm going on a job interview this friday and hopefully can start after the holidays.

Do you think she might be looking for someone else because of this ?

1 Reply

@Afella,

Rather difficult to say one way or another about cheating. You haven't really said anything that would show her cheating. Usually it's a change in behaviour that shows cheating, but in this case, you are talking about her behaviour not changing (your main objection being she doesn't come over while your parents are away).

What I would definitely say is that she is not as into you as you would wish. The rest of it could easily be flowing from that.

1 Reply

@vikorr,

hey vikorr, thanks for your answer

Yeah you could be right about her not being in to me as she used to...
She's older than me and has been working a steady job for 2 years. I'm still trying to figure out what exactly i'm going to do for a living. Maybe this could be bothering her...And i indeed haven't got any real evidence of her cheating. But i can't get it out of my mind. I'm always thinking about it. I haven't been eating well and feeling down because of it.

I'm thinking of talking with her about it. But i'm not sure in what manner. I can't just be asking her if she's cheating on me. If it isn't true i think it's only gonna hurt our relationship more.

What do you think i should be doing in this situation ?

1 Reply

@Afella,

I'd encourage you to find a job - any job.

It seems like you are depressed. That makes you think dark thoughts - like your GF is cheating on you - even though you have no evidence for that.

She may even be pulling back from you because of your attitude, too.

Talk to her about it.

1 Reply

@Afella,

Afella wrote:

Do you think she might be looking for someone else because of this ?

no. I just think she's a working woman who has her priorities right. Going home, resting for work etc.

You're the person she dates and she can really only give you time when it's not going to interfere in any way with her work.

Have you invited her over to your parents home to have a dinner you've prepared? what are you doing to make life easier for her while you're off work?

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Hey ehBeth,

Thanks for your answer. I kinda feel stupid right now after reading it.
You're right about the fact that she probably needs some rest and time alone after work. I know she's doing a stressfull job which requires her to meet allot of people each day. Which i know she's not a big fan of.

I'm just overthinking everything now that i'm home allot. She stills stays with me every weekend so that must be a sign that she still feels something for me.

And about the inviting and what i'm doing to make her life easier... You really got me there. I have invited her over for dinner but not nearly enough now that i think of it. I always thought in a way that my door is always open for her. And that if she wants to come she can come. I'm gonna try to invite her 1 weekday every week and cook for her, and see how she responds to it. If she can't i'll atleast get an answer as to why she can't come.

And i need to show her more often that i love her and really care for her. Cause i really do. But i've been to busy with my own problems regarding work that i probably neglected all that.

Thanks for pointing these things out ehBeth. I feel allot calmer now. Such obvious things but i still managed to overlook it all.

I'll do my best to make our relationship strong again. And wish me luck on my job interview tomorrow !

1 Reply

@Afella,

That sounds like a good plan - and yes, I wish you the best of luck with your interview tomorrow.

<in the run-up to Christmas, I'm losing track of what day of the week it is, so hadn't fully realized tomorrow was Friday>

0 Replies

@PUNKEY,

Yeah i think you're right about that. I don't really think i'm depressed but i have been feeling kinda low lately. Maybe it might seem to her that i don't care for her anymore because of it. I'll try and talk with her about it this weekend.

And i do have a job interview tomorrow. So let's hope it goes well.

thanks for replying

1 Reply

@Afella,

Good luck and knock 'em dead!

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Being suspicious of my girlfriend.

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