Holidays after losing dad

I can offer sympathy, but I have no solutions. I hope it all works out by the time the big day arrives.

Everybody grieves at their own pace and it sounds like your sister is also wrapped up in not having someone during the holidays whereas you do.

You offered a reasonable invitation. Maybe offer a second, equally reasonable invitation to do something else which isn't family. E. g. offer to go see Rogue One with her on the 28th, something like that. Invite your boyfriend along, or not.

If your sister rejects this invitation as well, then wash your hands of it as you will have done more than enough.

How long will you be away?

You've lost your dad.
So has your sister.
Now she thinks she's lost you too.

Your actions today - Define you.

Thanks for all the good responses. My boyfriends family lives in the same area, so it's just for dinner that evening. I'm still going to church with my mom and sister. I know she is just hurting about not having her own someone and that the holidays are different without our dad. I just wish I didn't enable her to make me feel this way.

If your sister is still having so much difficulty that she can't move on, she may need some grief support/counselling. Yes, the holidays will be different without your dad. Someone needs to take the lead on developing new traditions for the remaining family.

Maybe you can suggest that the three of you have a special Boxing Day together - brunch and a movie or something.

New traditions sometimes need to be jump-started, they don't necessarily evolve on their own.

These are things I'm aware of. We have Christmas figures out now. My mom and sister are coming to my boyfriends family and Christmas Day the three of us plus boyfriend are having brunch.
Going back to your first statement, which is 110% accuracy, how to I ask her to consider counseling when she thinks she doesn't need it? Thanks again for all the good response. It helps to be told these things again.

One piece of advice for those still grieving during the holidays:

Don't try to "re-create" the old days. Don't try to do things "like they always were done."

Change the celebration - even consider going on a family vacation or meet during the off days.

Also - don't feel as though you need to try to make relatives "feel better" during these days.

There is a sense of happy/melancholy at this time of the year. Best thing is to do something for another group of people you don't even know. It's a great way to start the new year.

What would Dad have wanted you to do? Tell Mom and Sis your going to do what Dad would want you to do...Then invite them along.

My experience.
Don't run.
There is a strong urge to get away-get away from all the things that remind of the passed life.
Eventually it must be coped with and the best time is now.
Mr Father was famous and Christmas morning we just did things like always-his presents were piled in his chair.

I will never be able to explain it-but it helped all of us.