Want to please my gf

If you're 18, wouldn't that mean this is your last year with her before you both go off to college? Most high school relationships end here. I know a lot of boyfriends and girlfriends that went off to college together but there is always turmoil and usually breakup. I don't mean to be pushy, and you definitely shouldn't be either, but if you've been going with her for 4 years she KNOWS you're not just after a piece of ass, she knows you are more to her than that. Maybe she's waiting for you to say something. My senior year in high school all the girls were having sex..and all my female friends were talking about sex issues, it was a pretty normal thing. It might be worth just bringing it up. Maybe you guys could have a discussion and maybe she'll decide to go on the pill or something, if she did that it would be great because I think there is a waiting period with that and that would give you both time to think it over and get comfortable with the idea and start looking forward to it. Sex is also a lot better when the girl is on the pill rather than using a condom.

That's horrible advice stuh. Sure sex is better without protection, but man, the potential consequences certainly outweigh the benefits.

thanx for the advice everyone, but HOW do i brink have sex up with her without making things awkward or weird

Well, it will probably be awkward and weird. :-D

Maybe one time after you have been doing whatever it is that you do, you can ask, "do you ever think about...?" Use your own words and own feelings, with an overall message of a) you're extremely attracted to her, b) you'd love to, but c) you're willing to go at whatever pace she's comfortable with.

It shouldn't be so "awkward or weird" that sex comes up in conversation after being together for several years ... (edit after seeing Soz's reply: well, actually bringing it up for the first time I'm sure will be, but the fact that it does come up shouldn't be ;-)) - but with Eve's advice in mind the best angle I'm sure would be gauging what she thinks / would like.

I dunno what way would fit best - you know her better than we do. Options range from anything between an abstract conversation about what she thinks of "sex before marriage" to a more personal kind of talk where you might bring up if she ever daydreams about the way you are close when you're close ... ask if she ever daydreams of "going further" ... or something ...

Hard for us to say. I would say its probably best not to bring it up when you are actually already "petting", so to say ... because thats the point when its most likely to come across as pushing.

On the other hand, you sound like you two dont exactly feel comfortable talking of such things, so it might also be the only time you ever feel intimate enough to actually dare say such things ...

I'm just wondering - you seem really uncomfortable talking with her about something this intimate - do you talk about other really personal things with each other? Is it just sex that doesn't ever come up, or are there other things you don't really dare to bring up as well?


(Oh cjhsa, in defense of stuh, EMSFD did tell us they were both virgins ...)

Still, you can get knocked up on the pill...or you can be born with an STD.

its not that we are uncomfortble talking about it with eachother, we just never have before

Well, why haven't you after four years...?

was just never something we felt that we needed to do, that plus we always were kind of on and off so by the time we did get intimate again we were fighting, but now we have been intimate for a while

Man, what are you talking about? They have never even kissed other people. The chances of them having been born with an STD are practically zero, certainly not enough to have a negative impact on your life decisions. I stand by my advice...condoms are much more dangerous, they are only 99% safe and they break all the time sometimes you don't even know it when they break until it's too late. They also really limit what you can do...

Soz, if they're 18 now, that means they've been seeing each other since they were 14.

I liked your advice about saying, "Have you ever thought about not stopping?" Then he could add, "Well, sure I have, but I don't think we're ready for that yet. I figure when you're ready, you'll let me know. Until then, I'm happy with where we are." And yes, nimh is right, definitely bring it up at a private but not kissy moment.

I don't think it's a bit strange that they're not ready for all of it at 18. Sex is more complicated than most teenagers realize...especially if they're in a serious relationship. I think he's being very mature for his age, and I am glad he's thinking it through.

I don't think it's particularly strange that they don't feel ready for it -- I do think it's a little strange that they haven't talked about it, if only to confirm that they're not ready for it. (And sounds like *he* is ready...)

Sound familiar?
http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=34390&highlight=

Watch out for her hints before you give her yours. Dat's what I would say.

i asked her about it, and she told me she has thought about it alot and actually wanted to know if i have too, and im happy to say we both feel that right now we are happy enough with how things are going that we dont feel pressured at all to take it further. I hope we will stay together and probably eventually we will have sex, but right now it just doesnt seem necessary to show we love eachother. Its funny cause it seems that after we spoke about sex, we are a little closer then we were before, so idk we will see what happens. Shes a great girl and im lucky to be with her, so as long as we are together, i couldnt ask for more

That sounds great, EMSFD! I'm so happy for you!

And I'm also happy to know there's at least one thread on this forum where somebody's in a good relationship! (There's been a lot of dysfunction lately.)

EMSFD
That's Awesome that you are both satisfied with simply being with eachother :-D This is a rare treasure that will be a fond memory for the rest of your life. You've got tons of class and all I have is respect for you for seeing what's really important in a relationship.

Best wishes to you both :-D