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The meaning of "attitude" in the following paragraph

 
 
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 05:13 am
i'm translating a book about how to approach a women because of the request of a male customer (sorry because this topic can offend you). But the book has a confusing text:
"Since appearances matter so greatly with regard to your attitudes (that is, it is more important to appear certain than it is to actually be certain), it is actually not necessary to have positive expectations, as long as you at least always act like you do. Your attitude will catch up quickly, but in case it needs some time to do so you should assume that women will react well when you approach them [...]
What is best for a male to wear all has to do with his attitude. Since a lot of attention is not essential for a male to be attractive to women, there is no point for him to wear bright colors for the sake of being more visible [...]At the end of the day, his attitude is far more significant and is the one thing a male should focus on, while his style should be at the bottom of his list of areas for improvement when it comes to getting girls."
all the word "attitude" in the paragraphs have the same meaning, right? What do they mean (because i think they have special mean) ? And what does "appearances .... your attitudes" mean? Thank you!
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layman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 05:20 am
@thegioibian93,
It's hard to be sure, but within the limited context given here, he seems to be equating what he calls 'attitude" with an air of self-confidence. A confidence that your advances will be favorably received, etc. He thinks it is important that you "appear" confident, even if you aren't.
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 11:48 am
I don't know why Layman got a thumb down; his answer is pretty good. However the book being translated is unpleasant CRAP.
layman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 12:17 pm
@contrex,
contrex wrote:

I don't know why Layman got a thumb down; his answer is pretty good.


Shocking, Contrex. Last time I was around these here parts, you would invariably contradict whatever I said. I have "fans" who vote down every post I make, regardless of content, topic, or anything else, doncha know? I figured you might be one of them.
contrex
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 12:57 pm
@layman,
layman wrote:
Last time I was around these here parts, you would invariably contradict whatever I said. I have "fans" who vote down every post I make, regardless of content, topic, or anything else, doncha know? I figured you might be one of them.

I like to think I only contradict things I truly disagree with, and I also try to provide something to back up what I write in that situation. I don't think anonymously voting down is appropriate for this type of thread. It is cowardly and pointless. If one disagrees, one should be prepared to say why.
layman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 01:18 pm
@contrex,
contrex wrote:


I like to think I only contradict things I truly disagree with, and I also try to provide something to back up what I write in that situation.



I have no problem with that whatsoever; in fact I welcome honest disagreement. Often you learn something.

I agree that you have generally made a strong effort to back up your claims, but at times your arguments seemed (to me) to be rather strained and artificial. Whatever. No hard feelings.
contrex
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 01:46 pm
@layman,
layman wrote:
at times your arguments seemed (to me) to be rather strained and artificial.

I am afraid to say you may be right. (Thanks for that "at times"!). Sometimes an obstinate persistence can creep into one's thinking and cause one to continue to hold a shaky position.
0 Replies
 
dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 02:18 pm
@thegioibian93,
"Appearances," I guess, = outward attitudes or approach (but then you'd hafta find syn for "you approach 'em")

....Yet some (many) might slightly misunderstand or certainly disagree, I am hoping we soon hear from the others with more syns and approaches, guys/gals like Lay/Con above

Edited to deny any sort of pun
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 02:44 pm
The author seems to be saying that sincerity can be dispensed with, since women are so stupid that the mere appearance of confidence is enough to bamboozle them into spreading their legs. That book is nasty misogynistic claptrap.
layman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 02:51 pm
@contrex,
"Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it." (Harry S. Truman)

Seriously though, you reach a rather extreme conclusion and unwarranted condemnation, I think. I would agree that women prefer confident men to those lacking confidence. There's seldom, if ever, been a man in battle who who wasn't "scared." But there's still a difference between brave men who will resist notwithstanding their fears, and the cowards who cut and run at the first sight of potential danger. Standing and fighting might "appear" to be fearlessness, but it aint.

Call the "brave" men insincere if you want. I wouldn't. And, even assuming they are 'insincere," I say "good for them."
contrex
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 02:56 pm
Quote:
you should assume that women will react well when you approach them

You should assume that everyone of whatever sex will react well when you approach them (if they want you to approach them). No argument with that. However one kind of guy that women actually hate is the kind of man who thinks he is "God's gift to women".
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 05:17 pm
I'm still in contact with my ex of now many years ago; he's still a good man, though we both moved on.

One way he was different than me was that he often put the best face possible on how things went in a meeting, or some work production task, and sometimes it read like a happy mask. I didn't push it.
This is not a complaint; his attitude has likely been a kind of shoring up, and I get that; it might even be wise.

I tend to collect a column of what could possibly go wrongs along with all the hopes for what could go right. I think these both come from life experience from years before.
layman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 05:43 pm
@ossobucotemp,
Jo, you're a woman. I'm curious about whether you agree with this claim:

"The author seems to be saying that sincerity can be dispensed with, since women are so stupid that the mere appearance of confidence is enough to bamboozle them into spreading their legs. That book is nasty misogynistic claptrap."

Do you think this author has, based on the brief except quoted in this thread, exposed his "misogyny?"
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 05:48 pm
@layman,
I need to reread, as I remember blinking at some of it but not taking it seriously. Back anon.
0 Replies
 
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 06:14 pm
@thegioibian93,
thegioibian93 wrote:

i'm translating a book about how to approach a women because of the request of a male customer (sorry because this topic can offend you). But the book has a confusing text:
"Since appearances matter so greatly with regard to your attitudes (that is, it is more important to appear certain than it is to actually be certain), it is actually not necessary to have positive expectations, as long as you at least always act like you do. Your attitude will catch up quickly, but in case it needs some time to do so you should assume that women will react well when you approach them [...]
What is best for a male to wear all has to do with his attitude. Since a lot of attention is not essential for a male to be attractive to women, there is no point for him to wear bright colors for the sake of being more visible [...]At the end of the day, his attitude is far more significant and is the one thing a male should focus on, while his style should be at the bottom of his list of areas for improvement when it comes to getting girls."


Reaction by me - this writer is odd. Sounds like sales talking at a convention.

0 Replies
 
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 06:18 pm
@layman,
layman wrote:

It's hard to be sure, but within the limited context given here, he seems to be equating what he calls 'attitude" with an air of self-confidence. A confidence that your advances will be favorably received, etc. He thinks it is important that you "appear" confident, even if you aren't.


No argument, reasonable self confidence is useful, except the whole getting girls thing is juvenile; remember the song love for sale? Again, sounds like a sales instruction book.
0 Replies
 
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 06:23 pm
@contrex,
contrex wrote:

The author seems to be saying that sincerity can be dispensed with, since women are so stupid that the mere appearance of confidence is enough to bamboozle them into spreading their legs. That book is nasty misogynistic claptrap.


I don't know the book. To me it sounds shallow, but the beginning concept re being brave and putting your best foot forward is useful sometimes, some situations.
0 Replies
 
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 06:28 pm
@layman,
layman wrote:

"Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it." (Harry S. Truman)

Seriously though, you reach a rather extreme conclusion and unwarranted condemnation, I think. I would agree that women prefer confident men to those lacking confidence. There's seldom, if ever, been a man in battle who who wasn't "scared." But there's still a difference between brave men who will resist notwithstanding their fears, and the cowards who cut and run at the first sight of potential danger. Standing and fighting might "appear" to be fearlessness, but it aint.

Call the "brave" men insincere if you want. I wouldn't. And, even assuming they are 'insincere," I say "good for them."


I consider the book silly, but don't disagree with your take on bravery, a complex subject no doubt.
0 Replies
 
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 06:29 pm
@contrex,
contrex wrote:

Quote:
you should assume that women will react well when you approach them

You should assume that everyone of whatever sex will react well when you approach them (if they want you to approach them). No argument with that. However one kind of guy that women actually hate is the kind of man who thinks he is "God's gift to women".


Very true... or at least mostly true.
0 Replies
 
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Nov, 2016 06:53 pm
@layman,
To answer your question, I take him as misogynist at first glance and I'm not interested in more glances, but I don't know the guy. Maybe he is a provocateur. Re the word misogynist - I some times think it means different things to different people.
 

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