Dating Advice...please help

LOL are you serious? we haven't talked in a week...last time we talked i was upset and told him to not bother making it up to me when he didn't show up. told him to not call the next day when he mentioned that he would. ive sent him waaaaaaaaay too many mixed messages...
wouldn't going to see him like that would make him think im some nutcase ho? lol
if things were good i'd do that b/c he would likey.lol

soo many people pointed out to me that he's insecure and doesn't think highly of himself and explained to me the napoleon syndrome...short man syndrome. i guess they had me convinced? he's also a pisces which i find funny..he really does like fish LOL
honestly speaking..this may sound a little off..but he's my match...pisces and me being scorpio... never met anyone like him in all these years...weird connection from day one that i can almost feel what he's thinking b4 he says anything.

can a man be intimated by someone he thinks is too good for him? last week when i went to see him he was with a friend and we were all talking. and his friend asked me what i do for a living and then the guy i was dating asked me what i've been up to. explained what i've been doing and his friend cut in and said -oh your one of those..i said wha? he said you know toooo good....mentioned the sienfeld episode when Jerry couldn't date a girl he thought was tooo good b/c he couldn't date someone he envied. funny how his friend said that ...it got me wondering

LostGirl, all this wondering isn't going to get you anywhere. Talk to him.

Personally, I think that your odd behavior would explain his hiding from you without any short man syndrome or anything else. Just didn't want to deal with you right then.

i'm calling tomorrow...forsure...

can i ask something else? do you think that he thought i went to go see him to talk to him to END it b/c of this odd behaviour of mine...?

what did you think of that text message i sent him this weekend? was it again a mixed message?

Good Lord!
This is an amazing thread. I am totally amazed and blown away by some of this behavior. From adults. "Well, I sent him a text message". "I left a VM". The 21st century is a CURSE!. Grown adults have lost the ability to communicate on a one to one basis. People have lost the ability to write letters. Our technology is a huge pain in the ass!.

If you like this man, do something about it, and don't say " I will call first thing tomorrow, for sure". If he is important to you and you feel something inside for him, get off your ass and do it NOW!. I may come across as harsh, but trust me, I have been in your shoes, and it is not pretty. Personally, it sounds to me as if this guy is a bit of a player, or not as interested in you as you are him. There will come a point in any type of relationship that the pain will outweigh any happiness. When it gets to that point, girlfriend, its time to cut your losses.

If people would only say what is on their minds instead of dropping vague hints, these so called relationship issues would not have a chance to crop up. Open your mouth, tell this man what it is you want and need from him, and leave it at that. No response=no interest.

This a forum for advice. No matter how well intentioned any of us are with our advice, people will always do what they want. The thing we do while we are here on this planet, is to live and learn. Some people are more stubborn than others and have to learn things the hard way. As long as you learn from any situation, that is a good thing. The next time we hear from you, lets hear something CONSTRUCTIVE about how you are addressing the situation. This back and forth volley is exhausting, and not at all productive. While I'm at it....don't waste your time with this man. You deserve better.

here's an update.

i spoke with him on the phone on thursday night. I know we need to be face to face to really really talk but i was afraid to ruin it by speaking about everything on the phone. I'm not sure what to think after that conversation...
here's the phone convo

first thing he said after our hellos...that he said "listen i've been a jerk and should've been calling you more and there..i said it for you..im a jerk" then he asked me how have i been and we caught up...he told me about all his fishing adventures and i told him to not rub it in and he then said 'ohhh babe don't worry WE have lots of time to go again" and then he mentioned how he got my text message and then i said 'i thought that you... (couldn't finish what i said -that i thought that you didn't want to see me ever again-it was like he knew what i was going to say..unspoken words?) he interrupted and said "don't think like that...i've been an idiot and some times i get like this with spending time alone, please bare with me and i'm asking for forgiveness and i do want to see you -what are you doing this weekend?" so i told him my plans...and that on saturday i had a wedding to go to..his response was 'that's not good' -i guess he wanted to see me on saturday..then he said that he's going fishing with his brother from sun-tues(today) and mentioned that this weekend isn't good...(ya i figured that sherlock) and then we got off the phone with him saying talk to you soon.

what do you think?

Sounds promising... won't say anything too strong until you've actually seen each other, though. Hope that happens soon.

same here ...hope that it happens soon.

I'll keep you updated

I think your freudian slip requires a trenchcoat covering.

That was beautiful, princess! Kudos, girl!

Can we say "P-L-A-Y-E-R"??

Yes, we can!

reallllllly? so this is just a game he's playin...he's a player?

You want someone who is willing to put as much time into a relationship as you are, and it should not be so one sided. In my opinion, he's hit a slow spot in the road, and is coming back to you for the time being,knowing that you will be there for him.

He sounds selfish to me, but not having met either of you, I really have no way of knowing. I am going simply on what your words are saying, and if you look closely, I think you know what the real answer is. Don't sell yourself so short. You are an intelligent person, and it sounds like this man spends way too much time fishing. Of course, it could just depend on what he is "fishing" for. I hope he has a big enough worm.....

Find someone who is there totally for you, on as many levels as you can find my friend.

I thought it was a game you were both playing...

ok ..........so he called me today. just now. on his break (which he hasn't done in a while)
basically small talk. Asked me what i was doing..told him how i was on a smoke break -he himself was on one aswell. We asked each other how the weekend went...yada yada small talk about thanksgiving and quitting smoking...and then he told me how he caught a lot of fish and said that he was going back again this weekend to the same spot he took me. I mentioned how it was hard for me to catch a fish that day and thought it was me or the timing. He said that it was the timing we went and that there was lots of time to go fishing. Then i mention how i still have 2 days left for vacation and he said 'hmm that's good' and then said that his next client was there he had to go...i said ok..he siad talk to you soon babe...bye ..i said bye.

grrrrrrrrrrr what now? is he trying to keep me on the sidelines? wait for him? is this b/c he's going away first week of nov that since we haven't had sex ...is he pulling back a little so he wouldn't feel bad if he had a one night stand while he went away? im confused again. why did he bother calling me if he's not interested?

Let him go....unlike all that fishing he talks about, this one is definitely no catch....

I dont think that this guy is ready for a commitment everytime you try to talk to him he has some reason why he cant talk. It sounds to me that he is making excuses so he doesnt have to face you which is only hurting you more. I have had this happen to me. I think that you need someone thats better. Im sorry but this guy sounds like a jerk i could be wrong but that is my opinion. I hope things get better for you.

You're right...each time i did try to talk to him he had some reason why he couldn't...and what did confuse me was our conversation from last thursday how he called himself a jerk for me and asked for forgiveness....was this all a game b/c he's a coward to tell me the truth..that he doesnt' want anything to do with me ?
I sensed that he wasn't ...but now after all this..i don't think i would want one with him either ha! All kidding aside though..the fact that we haven't had sex is what's bothering me..wtf...im 30 and i don't want to sound to forward but i would like to at least with him and then say see ya...sounds mean..but part of me wants to SHOW him how good it could've been and then make him wonder. I won't get hurt by having sex with him and now i fear is it too late to even have FUN with him?

Hmmmmm....your nick name is pretty appropriate. Give yourself some respect, and if all else fails....masturbate. You need to build up your self esteem.Why in the world would you even consider sleeping with this "man"?

Making yourself available to obvious losers is only setting you up for depression, anger, and loneliness.

As I stated before, people ask for advice, get it, then do what they want anyway, even when they know better.