@stephblais,
stephblais wrote:
My boyfriend and I have been together for going on 4 years. We have lived together for most of that time. I know he loves me but he gets so frustrated that I don't make a lot of money. He pays for almost everything. I pay my car payment and insurance and help buy grocerys. We talk about getting married but then he says we won't get married until I make more money. This really hurts my feelings. I feel like i'm not good enough for him now. Part of me wants to say if i'm not good enough to marry now as the wonderful woman and girlfriend I am then I don't want to marry you when you deem me marriage worthy just because i'm making more money. Am I being overly sensitive or is that just a mean thing for him to say?
People involve themselves in romantic/intimate relationships for selfish reasons ... it's to get their most basic and important needs met, including but not limited to their needs for love, respect (mutual admiration), companionship, conversation, financial security, sex, etc.
You and your boyfriend have been together for four years. Perhaps getting married and having children is in your future. But how will you care for those children? How will you support them? Will you be able to afford day care, or will all your earnings go to pay for day care and you will have no money left over to satisfy your other financial needs?
You are certainly at a cross roads. Both of you must identify your most important needs, talk about them, and determine if and how those needs can be met by staying together. If you have no future together and are incapable of fulfilling each others most important needs, then the two of you should consider moving on with your lives as individuals and not as a couple.