How much did I screw up and can I recover?

Reply Sun 30 Oct, 2016 04:11 pm
So I asked the girl of my dreams to a dance and she kindly said,

"I'm sorry, I'm flattered it's just that I don't go to school dances, I'm always busy, and it's just not my crowd. I hope you find a date though!"

And I just let it slide and not let it bother me, but like I normally do I can't leave things alone and I say to her,

"Hey, I know I've been trying to get with you lately but I just wanna try and be your friend. I don't really know you for you and I'd like you to know me for me. I'm done trying to get with you and I just wanna be friends with you. Is that okay with you?"

And then later I find out she blocks me on instagram and doesn't acknowledge me at all. She used to glance at me in the hall and I don't even get that anymore. I've been planning a promposal for 2 years and still want to ask her to prom next year but with the circumstances I don't think it would be wise. Is there a way I can recover from this or is she another lost cause?
Reply Sun 30 Oct, 2016 04:38 pm
Who knows? Why do you expect us to know?
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Reply Sun 30 Oct, 2016 04:45 pm
It's possible she was trying to spare you feelings in the first instance. When you tried again, she decided to put a stop to it.

If a girl is brutally honest, we want her to be considerate instead. If she gives us a little white lie, we think she should have been honest from the beginning. Men are hard to figure out, too.
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Reply Mon 31 Oct, 2016 07:39 am
Her actions are SO obvious , so why don't you get the hint?

She said NO to the dance, NO to the friendship, NO to the contact and NO to the looks.

She is not interested in you. She doesn't even want to develop a friendship. That is your hope that YOU think it's going to go somewhere.

She is stopping anything because she does not want ANYTHING to develop.

Move on.
Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2016 04:16 pm
If a person comes here for help/advice, is there a reason you feel the need to put your advice in the harshest possible terms?

Just because he is missing very obvious social cues, doesn't mean he is doing such on purpose (he's young), and doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings. It's probably a good thing that he's prepared to seek advice, right? And in his place - would you ever again go seek advice in a place like this after you received a reply like yours from a stranger?

Why not say "Hey, I'd say she's not even interested in a friendship. You've described several signs that say so (list if you choose to do so), and it seems obvious to me that she is now rather apprehensive about your approaches. My advice is, don't approach her again. It's time to Move on. As they say, there's plenty of fish in the sea"

Or some such?
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Reply Sat 5 Nov, 2016 02:30 pm
Or is she another lost cause?

It's hard isn't it. What to say, how to say it.

Sounds as if she is a nice girl and good for you to have the courage to ask for a date.

If you get rejected remember, it will happen time and time over, but it will also happen whereby a young lady will say yes, because she would like to get to know you.

If I was you, if you get rejected, don't go for the friends zone, your wording comes across as a possible "stalker" not that you mean that, but it can be a bit scary...and if not not, trying to get into her pants not getting to know her.

Trying to get with you .
But ah, stuff it let's just be friends.
Wait, I don't know you, you don't know me, so friends first then let me try to get with you.
Wait, I'm done, forget that, I just wanna be friends.
Is that Ok?

If rejected, smile at her the next one when you see her, act confident and turn the other way and keep walking.


At some point one lady will find a way to then talk to you, talk...
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