My boyfriends of 3 years cheated on me whilst Travelling together

Reply Sat 22 Oct, 2016 09:50 am
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years we did break up for 6 months previously as I found he had been speaking to girls on hookup websites etc but he fought to get me back. A year after getting back together we took the leap and decided to travel to Canada together, we've both got working holiday visas and are here for two years. We've been travelling for 5 months in total and have been working and living in Toronto for about 2 months. We are both working in the service industry so work long, unsocialable hours which has been tough on us. We talked about it and decided we really wanted to work through and fight for our as we were just working to save money to travel even more! So the tough times would only be temporary and would be worth it for all the other amazing this we have planned.

I began noticing a change in my boyfriends behaviour, he would take more pride in his appearance before going to work and he would always take his phone into the bathroom and always kept it hidden and out of my sight. I was looking on his iPad which is connected to his phone and found a girls number, I didn't initially do anything as I though it could be someone he worked with and after a few days it had disappeared. A few days later I found the same number saved under a guys' name. This was instant alarm bells for me as he was hiding this girls number.

I confronted him about it and he initially denied he had been doing anything, I persisted and he then told me he had been speaking to this girl who had given him her number at work, so he initiated the whole thing by texting her. He had deleted all the messages so I had no idea what had been going on and he just said they were chatting, but if it was so innocent why delete the messages?

He then left packed all of his things and I haven't seen him since. He's deleted everything involving me on social media so this new girl doesn't see it, they've spent days hiking etc together, things we should have been doing. The thing that hurts the most is that it's as if I never existed after spending 3 years together.

I feel like I've been completely abandoned in a foreign county and I haven't done anything wrong and don't know what I've done to deserve any of this! I just don't know what to do.
Reply Sat 22 Oct, 2016 10:19 am
I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Block him from all forms of social media. Why? It's not to be vindictive and do a kind of tit-for-tat response. Rather, it's because you're looking at pictures of him with his new girlfriend and it's bringing you down. So keep your nose out of that and you'll at least feel better in that respect.

As for the remainder, are you able to afford to stay where you are? Can you make friends at work? Can you find another job if you're still working with him? Can you return to your own country and get settled there?

You don't have to specifically answer me at all on this thread, but those are questions you should be asking yourself. You might find you need a roommate, for starters. Or maybe you can call your folks and go there and just quit your job. Or maybe you can find another job and make some friends - who won't remind you of how big a jerk he turned out to be.

You're gonna be okay.
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Reply Sat 22 Oct, 2016 01:44 pm
This is not the worst thing to happen to you - you will find that out many years from now.

It sounds like your relationship was stressed, anyway.

Sorry for you pain. I know how that feels.
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Reply Mon 24 Oct, 2016 06:03 pm
It is easier to say than done but you weren't even married and he was looking for something else on the side.
You hadn't done anything to deserve that except you let him get away with this once and he took it to another level.
Remember good things and cry until you are angry and want nothing to do with him.
Move on and best of all. No one is guilty. Hearts can be broken and they do all the time. Thank God you have no children and you can start anew.
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