Boyfriend bulimia

Women bring to therapy their extremely negative attitudes and feelings about themselves, their sense of helplessness and their sense of loss of control over every aspect of their lives. The development of a positive self-image and heightened sense of control are two major goals of therapy, a sense of esteem and control not based on body size or food intake. Therapy itself can arouse feelings that make women feel more out of control. Acknowledging this, therapy must be paced so that it is both challenging and safe. Contracting with a therapist around mutually agreed expectations can facilitate this balance and encourage women to play an active role in shaping therapy.

Hi Everyone,

I need help on a very tender subject.

I met my fiancé a year and a half ago. 5 months into our relationship he tells me a secret that has literally crushed my soul. All very nonchalant he tells me he throws-up after he eats. He said he has stomach problems and throwing up makes him feel better. He's not sure whats going on but every time he eats he feels like vomiting. He said its been 2 years. Well here I am thinking all sorts of things like maybe this is an intestinal issue or worse he has stomach cancer and most importantly this is something out of his control.

Let's fast forward: we live together and I guess he trusts me enough and feels comfortable with me that yes he does vomit...all the time! He eats a man size meal, maybe a tad bigger then pukes and then eats something smaller. And the something smaller is **** food with no nutritional value.

Now I was naive at first to think this was out of his control but I saw him one day and he was sticking his hands down his throat. When I confronted him he said it just helps it along. Um yeah whatever. Every time I have looked at him his had is down his throat.

Pretty much everyday for the past 6 months I have had my soul crushed. Listening to someone you love hurt themselves is beyond comprehension. I'm losing my mind!

Obviously this is a very tender subject and he won't talk about this and no matter what I say starts a huge fight. He's had a really rough year, lost his business and is financially broke. He says when he gets money he'll go check it out.

I don't know how to talk to him or what to do? I am completely lost! My soul is so broken I need help too. To listen to this and be powerless.....

I'm no psychiatrist but it seems this is a control thing since his life is so out of control. Now for the past month he's wanting to fast and eats very little. He wants to "fix" his stomach issue....

Since when we first meet he has lost a lot of weight. Note he had a perfect body for me when we first got together, I remember looking at him thinking how amazing his body was. (Man body, no gut, broad shoulders, fit, no six pack but I don't want that) Now he's too thin for me but I can't say this to him. And now he thinks he looks really good but just needs to lose a bit off his stomach. My gawd now I know how some guys must feel with their ladies.

I added this last paragraph because I guess I don't know what the hell is going on...has anyone ever deal with this? How was this solved? and most importantly why do you think he's doing this?

He said throwing up makes him feel better.