"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."

Forums: Movies, Comedy, Hobbits, Tolkien, Lotr
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In the Lord of the Rings movie at the Council of Elrond when Gandalf explains the mission to destroy the One Ring, Boromir mutters "One does not simply walk into Mordor..."

... and do what ...?

It might make a great one-liner if it had been finished. Add something to this to make it as incongruous with the gravity of the rest of the movie or series as possible.

And so, I'll start:

“One does not simply walk into Mordor and...”

~ ask to use a restroom.
~ ask if anyone has seen your lost puppy.
~ return an overdue library book.
~ bring Sauron's daughter home late from your date.
~ expect applause.

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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 8,366 • Replies: 78

@Seizan,

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kahXbvErBYM/T5HFAfsd4lI/AAAAAAAAAag/YXV-H39JNM0/s1600/YouTotallyDoSimplyWalkIntoMordor.png

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That's a line from the motion picture. It does not occur in the novel.

1 Reply

@Setanta,

Correct! Please reread my original post...

:-)

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One does not simply walk into Mordor and loiter in the gift shop without purchasing any items.

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@Seizan,

One does not simply walk into Mordor's only Michelin 3 star restaurant without a reservation 4 months in advance.

((Damn you Seizan for such a great thread!)) Laughing

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@Seizan,

I have no reason to re-read it. Jackson screwed up LotR big time. Enough said.

1 Reply

@Setanta,

Setanta wrote:

I have no reason to re-read it. Jackson screwed up LotR big time. Enough said.

He was indicating that this was a joke thread not that you reread the books or rewatch the movies.

One does not simply walk into Mordor's DMV and not expect an entire day wasted to get your license renewed.

1 Reply

One does not simply walk into Mordor and ask if anyone has a can of Raid to kill a “big nasty spider in the cave back there”.

One does not simply walk into Mordor and ask an orc “Who's yer Daddy?”

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Oo! OOo! Here's one...!

One does not simply walk into Mordor and ask directions to "the hottest place in town".

:-)

1 Reply

@Seizan,

One does not simply walk into Mordor and expect extra guacamole for free at their local taquerias.

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One does not simply walk into Mordor and not be EXTREMELY VETTED.

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@George,

When I was yunger I walked into Mordoors than Id care to mention. But of course, alcohol was usually involved.

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One does not simply walk into Mordor without sunscreen.

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@farmerman,

farmerman wrote:

When I was yunger I walked into Mordoors than Id care to mention. But of course, alcohol was usually involved.

A memory from back in the early 1980's, long before the movie.

A boyfriend and I were driving through Central Florida, near Belle Glade. The sun was setting and there were various yellow/orange/purple/red clouds. Workers were burning off many acres of sugar cane stalks. The flames, clouds of smoke against the red setting sun, indistinct figures walking in the background.

Shudder.

On the bright side, we were driving into Mordor in a Suburu Brat, not walking.

1 Reply

@chai2,

One does not simply walk into Mordor and expect that Sauron is going let you use his wifi network for free. Good luck guessing the password.

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@tsarstepan,

I understand, so you needn't patronize me. Joke thread? Yawn . . .

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@tsarstepan,

One does not simply walk into Mordor... It's orcward.

Budum tsch!

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One does not simply walk into Mordor and give away spoilers for the next Marvel movie.

One does not simply walk into Mordor without adequate underarm protection.

One does not simply walk into Mordor while off one's meds.

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One does not simply walk into Mordor at 2am looking for Krispy Kremes.

(Although I could certainly see that happening)

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"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."

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