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The Most Boring Movies You've Ever Seen

 
 
Reply Tue 13 Jul, 2004 06:02 pm
I have to start out with "The Thin Red Line". I never saw the original, but the one from 1998 was absolute torture, in my opinion. I kept thinking, "How much longer can this overblown, pompous, pseudo-artistic piece of trash go on?" Almost three hours, as it turned out.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 71 • Views: 102,907 • Replies: 640

 
NickFun
 
  3  
Reply Tue 13 Jul, 2004 08:24 pm
I would love to answer this one Kicky but the MOST BORING MOVIES are not something I'm likely to remember.
joefromchicago
 
  3  
Reply Tue 13 Jul, 2004 09:25 pm
No question: it's The English Patient.

It was so mind-numbingly dull, after the first hour all I wanted to do was pull my own head off.
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MyOwnUsername
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 02:16 am
I am pretty sure MANY will disagree, but the most boring movie I ever saw was "Age of Innocence".
This is worst movie experience in my life Smile Although "English Patient" is good candidate as well
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agrote
 
  2  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 05:12 am
Meet joe Black!

It wasn't a terrible film, but I wish it was a few hours shorter.
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thiefoflight
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 06:41 am
Andy Warhol"s SLEEP. But i think it was suposed to be boring
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cavfancier
 
  2  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 06:47 am
Anything Dune-related.
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 06:59 am
There was a movie about Ben Affleck and some other guy walking through the desert trying to find out where Ben parked his car. I can't remember the name of the movie but it was exquisitly dull.
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cavfancier
 
  2  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 07:01 am
Anything that makes porn boring. 'Crash' comes to mind.
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Grand Duke
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 07:17 am
Lost In Translation.

Nothing happens!
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agrote
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 05:24 pm
That walkign through the desert film, can't remember what it was called, was Ben Affleck's little brother and Matt Damon (if I'm thinking of the right film) - and they weren't just looking for the car, they were lost in death valley, dying! It was literally just them walking around, getting
more and more thirsty, but I still thought it was great.

I thought Lost in Translation was a beautiful film. So what if nothing happens? I can really relate to that - nothing ever happens in my life. Crying or Very sad
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pueo
 
  2  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 05:40 pm
the 13th warrior, just watched it last night and wasted 103 minutes of my life.
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doglover
 
  2  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 05:48 pm
Some of the most boring movies I can remember seeing are:

Water World

Reds

The Blue Lagoon

Dune

And the most recent boring movie I've seen was "The Anchorman" with Will Ferrel. God...what a disappointment. It was like one long, bad Saturday Night Live sketch.
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Jer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 05:51 pm
Cold Mountain...
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 05:53 pm
The Blair Witch Project. Had no redeeming social value, was crude, amateurish, and not the least bit frightening. What a bore!
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Jer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 06:11 pm
doglover...I've heard so many great reviews about Anchorman from my friends...I'm surprised you didn't like it.
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edgarblythe
 
  0  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 07:16 pm
Dr Zhivago
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farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Wed 14 Jul, 2004 07:26 pm
return of the King. it was so full of stuff just jam packed into a flick that you could see the edit marks and just too damn busy.

I agree also with lost in Translation. murray phoned it in while goofing off in Jpan
Barrelofagun69
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Jul, 2004 01:41 am
The Thin Red Line can easily be misunderstood if you're not a Malick fan. If you're into that type of over-philsophizing (most aren't) then this is your film.

That Lost In Translation was a bore with its pseudo-artsiness is a given. I knew that going into the theater that I was in for 90 minutes of pretentious non-action.

I would have to say "The Postman" with Kevin Costner had me squirming like a 12-year-old trying to sit through Kenneth Branagh's "Hamlet", while Costner actually threw himself one better recently with the uncut "Dances With Wolves" redux.

Scorsese has had a few bore-fests in the mix: "Age of Innocence," "Kundan", "Bringing Out The Dead", not to metion "Boxcar Bertha" really tried to the patience and sent the clicking-cell-phone-to-check-the-clock barometer through the roof.

Contrary to what most say, Cimino's "Heaven's Gate" and Beatty's "Reds" aren't really that tortorous to sit through. Just because a film is 3+ hours does not automatically guarantee boredom. I've seen 90-minute films that seem longer than Reds ("Dodgeball"). As with "Thin Red Line", if you can accept the story that's being told and the actors playing the characters who are telling it, then getting through the film shouldn't be that much of a chore. Otherwise, happy trails.

Matrix 2 was an absolute nightmare to watch, too. You know it's a bad film when the world's craziest car chase can't even arouse your attention.
agrote
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 Jul, 2004 02:28 am
You can't say that the Blair Witch Project just wasn't frightening, when a lot of people were frightened by it. I don't quite understand why people are so cynical about it - it's quite modest for a horror flick. And that's what it is: a horror film; so of course it doesn't make any social commentary! It's just, "oh no a monster! AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!" What more do you expect? I think it's a very impressive film, since it manages to scare the **** out of (some) people by just having three people in the woods getting scared themselves - you never see the witch, all you see is sticks and piles of rocks and such, but it's still scary to half the people who watch it.

It's scarier than that stupid ghost one with Nichole Kidman, can't remember what it was called.

I don't see what about Lost in Translation is 'pseudo-artiness' - it didn't seem to be pretentiously trying to be 'arty,' it seemed like a fairly straightforward drama to me. Confused
 

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